Rock Bottom
by Summer2012
Summary: Mordecai becomes severely depressed after Margaret goes away to college and ends up making some poor decisions. Will his friends be able to help him before it's too late? Rated M for language and drug abuse. R&R! [Complete!]
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:****Hi guys – this is my first stab at a Regular Show story and my first time actually posting anything I've written.****I hope you like. Please review - ****comments, questions and/or constructive criticism are appreciated. ****Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer – I don't own Regular Show.****J.G. Quintel is the mastermind behind the characters and he is a genius, might I add. **

**Rock Bottom**

Mordecai looked out the window on a sullen, stormy afternoon. A flash of lightening, followed by a loud crack of thunder caused the whole house to shake. The park grounds were barely visible through the downpour. The weather matched perfectly with his current mood.

Just twenty-four hours previously, Mordecai had been on top of the world. It seemed like everything was going his way. He had a good job as a groundskeeper at the city park. It didn't pay much and there wasn't much room to grow, but it gave him enough to get buy. He got to live rent-free in a beautiful two-story house on the park grounds complete with all the conveniences a twenty-three year old guy could ever want – a bed, a bathroom, a kitchen and (most importantly) a TV and video games. The best part of the job was the relaxed atmosphere that allowed him to pretty much do whatever he wanted as long as he eventually did what his boss, Benson, asked of him. All that _and_ he got to hang out all day with his best friend, Rigby, and his other friends who worked at the park. He was happy with the job for now.

The park was awesome, but what really had him thinking that things couldn't get much better was a beautiful girl named Margaret. Mordecai had the biggest crush on her for years, but was always too shy and nervous to make a move until a few weeks ago during a night up on Lookout Mountain where they had gone to watch a meteor shower. It took everything he had to finally summon the courage to kiss her after failing to do it so many times. To his surprise, she readily returned his kiss and they had been happily dating ever since.

Last night, his plan was to take her out to the most expensive restaurant in town and officially ask her to be his girlfriend. He had worked so hard doing chores for everyone in the park so he could afford to pay for the meal. In exchange for favors, his coworkers had given him their "Amadeus Dollars," which were gift certificates to the fancy restaurant that all of the park employees had received for Christmas. Everything was going to be perfect.

Things got off to a shaky start at the restaurant because the "Amadeus Dollars" turned out to be counterfeit. The FBI got involved and it turned into this big ordeal, but that is a whole other story. The part of the evening that he couldn't get off his mind was the thirty seconds between the time he said, "Margaret, will you be my girlfriend?" and her reply "For the first time ever I feel like I'm in a relationship that could actually go somewhere, but I just got accepted to my dream school. I really like you Mordecai, what we have is special, but I may never get this opportunity again. I'm sorry, but I can't be your girlfriend." He could see the mixture of joy and sadness in her face as she spoke the words that made his world come crashing down around him. She was going off to college, over a thousand miles away.

He knew that it wasn't fair to either of them to promise a monogamous relationship to each other at this point. The long distance thing just doesn't work for most people – especially not a beautiful _and_ intelligent college student like Margaret. She would have guys hitting on her every time she turned around. The very thought of this made Mordecai sick to his stomach. How could he ever compete with that? He had some higher education, having gone to Art School for a couple of years, but he knew that he was no match for the campus jocks and frat boys who would all be striving for Margaret's attention.

Although she tried to hide it, Margaret had silently cried during the drive back to her place from the restaurant—showing that she did have real feelings for Mordecai. The last few weeks had been amazing. They'd had a great time together and she even invited him over for a BBQ to meet her parents and extended family. He was the only guy Margaret had ever brought home that her dad actually accepted. It had seemed like a future together was inevitable…until she got the acceptance letter. He wanted to comfort her and tell her that things would work out for them, that he would wait for her as long as it took, but he knew that it would be in vain. He had no doubt that he could wait that long – it's not like he had girls lining up to date him—but he didn't know if she would want to wait and he didn't want to pressure her by asking her. Mordecai: under his happy-go-lucky, where's-the-party exterior, he had a heart of gold and was forever trying to do the right thing.

Thunder rumbled again, bringing closure to the scene that had kept playing over and over in his head. He had been moping around in a daze all morning. Margaret would be getting on a plane and flying out of his life in less than two hours and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"Are we going to play, or what, man? Or are you going to just sit around staring out the window all day?" Rigby's voice started him. The raccoon had just come out of the kitchen carrying a huge bag of chips in one hand and a plate full of leftover pizza in the other. He stuffed half a slice of pizza in his mouth, then plopped down on the couch and picked up the game controller.

"Sorry Rigby, I was just thinking about something. I'm not really in the mood for video games right now." Mordecai replied.

"What? What do you mean you're not in the mood to play video games? This is _Double Dragon_, man! What the hell is wrong with you?" Rigby retorted through a mouthful of pizza. It was just in his nature to be insensitive and usually oblivious to other people's feelings. Although he was the same age as Mordecai, his personality was more like that of a hyperactive teenager.

"I just don't feel like it right now. Give me a break, Rigby." Mordecai replied softly. He was completely not himself today. Usually, he was always in an upbeat mood and never passed up on an opportunity to have fun.

"What's the matter, still thinking about _Margaret_?" Rigby drew out her name in a whiney voice. He had nothing against her personally, but he had been a little jealous as of late because of the amount of time Mordecai had been spending with her – instead of hanging out with him.

"Leave me alone, dude." Mordecai replied, getting annoyed.

"Just get over her, already. What's the big deal? She probably doesn't even like you that much or she wouldn't be leaving." Rigby said, putting down the game controller and throwing his arms up in exasperation. In his own way, his intentions were to make Mordecai feel better by blowing off the situation like it was no big deal, but he was really only making things worse.

"Shut up, Rigby! You don't know what you're talking about! She does so like me, but this is an opportunity she can't pass up. "

"Whatever man, you don't need her anyway. Forget about her and let's play Double Dragon!" Rigby pressed.

"I said no, Rigby. Just drop -" He was interrupted when an overweight green man in his twenties entered the room followed closely by his ethereal friend.

"Hey ladies, what's going on?" Muscle man asked in his gruff voice. "Me and Fives can't finish any of our work because of this storm. "

"Mordecai is just being lame and acting like a loser just because Margaret ditched him. He won't even play Double Dragon with me." Rigby pointed a finger at the depressed looking blue jay sitting on the couch.

"Tough luck, bro." Muscle man said.

"I'm not a loser, Rigby. You're the loser! You wouldn't know what it's like to love someone because you've never even been on a date, much less had a girlfriend!" He stood up and pointed his finger at Rigby. "You're so immature and no one even likes you. Take that, LOSER, and leave me the hell alone!" Mordecai shouted, growing angrier by the second because Rigby wouldn't let it go.

"You just got told, bro!" Muscleman exclaimed. High Fives nodded in agreement.

"STOP TALKING!" Rigby yelled, not liking the way this conversation had turned on him.

Skips, a seven foot tall Yeti, poked his head out of the kitchen. "What is all the yelling about?" He asked in his guttural baritone voice.

"Oh yeah?" Rigby goaded, ignoring Skips's question. "Well YOU'RE such a loser that Margaret probably isn't even leaving to go to school. That was probably just an excuse to get away from you because you're such a big LOO-SER!"

"That's it!" Mordecai balled his wing into a fist and planted it square into Rigby's jaw. The raccoon stumbled backwards, clearly shocked. He quickly regained his balance, gritted his teeth in anger, and lunged straight at Mordecai with fists flying. The two inseparable friends started a full blown, out-to-draw-blood, fist fight – something that had never happened during their longtime friendship despite all the teasing and arguments between them in the past. Mordecai just snapped, unable to deal with Rigby's relentless taunting on top of his loss of Margaret.

"Whoa bro, they're really kicking the crap out of each other!" Muscle Man muttered to High Five Ghost, but made no effort to stop them.

Skips ran over and attempted to break them apart. He grabbed Rigby by shoulder and flung him backwards, out of Mordecai's reach, placing himself between the two. That didn't stop the blue jay from trying though. ''I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S A LOSER!" Mordecai kept yelling between gulping in air and flailing his fists in the air. Blood trickled from a gash above his left eye. Skips braced his chest to keep him from Rigby.

"Oh yeah? BRING IT THEN! I'll tear you limb to limb!" Rigby shouted, but didn't move from the 'safe zone' just out of Mordecai's reach. He knew he was ultimately no match for Mordecai.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Benson, their boss, shouted as he ran out of his office. "MORDECAI AND RIGBY! END THIS, _NOW_!"

"He started it!" Rigby accused without missing a beat.

"Bullshit! I just wanted you to leave me alone! Was that too much to ask, Rigby? I didn't want to play video games and you just wouldn't give up – 'Mordecai is a lame because he won't play video games. Mordecai is a loser. Margaret is leaving you because you're so lame!' Mordecai imitated Rigby's high-pitched voice, still struggling to get free of Skip's grasp.

"Well that's because you _were_ being a loser!" Rigby shouted. "Who sits around all depressed over some girl leaving anyway?"

"Shut up, Rigby!"

"BOTH of you SHUT UP! If you don't stop this crap right now, YOU'RE BOTH FIRED!" Benson threatened, his temper rising to the breaking point. The two friends often had that effect on him.

"Fine!" Mordecai said, finally jerking himself out of Skips's grip. "You know what? I'm not going to sit around here and take this shit. I'm out of here!" He shoved past Muscle Man and High Fives and walked out the door into the storm, slamming it behind him.

An awkward silence crept over the room as they all stared at the door for a few seconds. "You should have left him alone, Rigby." Skips said. "You just couldn't drop it, could you?"

"But it's not my fault! He..he…It's not my fault!" Rigby tried to defend himself, but was unable to come up with a good reason why Mordecai was to blame.

"It sounds to me like this IS your fault, Rigby because you don't know when to shut your mouth!" Benson's eyes burned a hole accusingly through the raccoon. "I hope you're happy now!"

"But I.." Rigby dropped his shoulders and hung his head as if it suddenly dawned on him what he'd done.

"I'll go get him. It's pouring out there." Skips offered.

"No, just let him go cool off. He'll come back eventually." Benson said. "As for you Rigby, you're going to do his jobs _and_ your jobs for the rest of the day! Now get back to work, or YOU'RE ALL FIRED!"

**A/N: A lot of this chapter was mainly background - things start to pick up Chapter 2, which is coming soon. I have seen _Laundry Woes_ so I know what happens after Margaret goes to college on the show, but just humor me. R&R**


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thanks to Park Ryder and and Silver Azure for your reviews. On with the show!_

**Chapter 2**

Mordecai slammed the door, still trembling with anger over the fight with Rigby. He was a little surprised at himself for snapping like that – Rigby had taunted him much worse in the past, but it was usually about small stuff and he was able to shrug it off. This was much more serious. This was his life and his future they were talking about and Rigby should have been a little more supportive. He was supposed to be his best friend, after all, and all he could do was think about himself. He totally deserved what he got. Mordecai only regretted not getting in a few more punches before Skips broke them up.

The rain was coming down in sheets as he stepped off the porch, instantly soaking him to the bone. He spotted the golf cart parked on the side of the house and made his way toward it. Luckily, someone had left the keys in the ignition. He hopped in the cart and took off. It was not the best mode of transportation for this kind of weather, but it was all he had. He slammed his foot down on the gas, kicking up mud and he drove down the dirt trail leading out of the park. He had to get out of here – he knew that probably any second now someone, most likely Skips in his infinite wisdom, would come looking for him and try to convince him to return to the house and work things out with Rigby. They were all more like a big family, rather than coworkers, and often did things family would do for each other. He knew they meant well, but he didn't want to deal with it right now. He didn't know where he was going and didn't care – as long as it wasn't the Park.

Mordecai drove around aimlessly in the rain for a while. Soon, it suddenly dawned on him that he was right around the corner from the airport. He wondered if he had subconsciously driven there on purpose. He slowed the cart and pulled into the parking lot of a convenience store. Sitting there, he was at war with himself over whether he should go to the airport and try to find Margaret, or if he should forget about it and just go find a bar to get warm and have a beer. The sensible side of him told him to do the latter, knowing that seeing Margaret again would only further shatter what was left of his heart. But the emotional side of him had to see her again – even if it was just one last time. If Rigby was here, he would definitely tell him to choose the bar over the airport.

He made his decision and pulled off, tuning toward the airport. Inside, he scanned the departing flight board for Denver – that was where Margaret's college was. He spotted it and gasped when he saw it was set to leave in twenty-three minutes. He headed toward the correct terminal. It seemed to take forever to get through security, but once he was finally through he took off in a sprint toward gate 9B, which just happened to be all the way at the end.

As he neared the waiting area he immediately spotted the Margaret. She had just gotten up out of her seat and was shoving a paperback book into her backpack. "Flight to Denver will depart in 10 minutes – last call for boarding" came over the loud speaker.

"Margaret! Margaret!" Mordecai called. He ran up to her and doubled over, placing his hands on his knees in an attempt to catch his breath.

"Modecai! I didn't expect to see you here!" Margaret exclaimed. "Why are you soaking wet and what happened to your eye? You've been bleeding!"

"Long story." Mordecai said between gasps. "I had to see you again."

"That's so sweet of you to come see me off, Mordecai."

"No, I came to ask you to stay. Don't get on that plane, Margaret. Don't go to Denver." Mordecai pleaded.

Margaret sighed, feeling terrible about the situation. "Mordecai, we talked about this. I don't want to leave you and all my friends and family, but I can't let this pass me by. It's something I have to do. I'm so sorry."

"But…I love you, Margaret!" Mordecai surprised himself with the three words that he had never said to any girl before. It slipped out before he realized what he was saying, but he knew that it was totally true.

Tears filled Margaret's eyes. This was extremely hard for her too. "I care very deeply for you too, Mordecai." She took his hand. "You will always have a special place in my heart. Maybe one day we can be together again, but right now we have to go our separate ways and get on with our lives. I'm sorry."

He suddenly realized that this was a huge mistake. He should have known that he would not be able to convince her to stay. Seeing her again and hearing her confirm the inevitable only made him feel ten times worse. He stood there at a loss for words. He could think of nothing else to say to convince her to stay. His eyes burned like he was on the verge of tears, but he silently vowed that wouldn't allow her to see him cry.

''I really have to go now. The gate is about to close. I won't forget you, Mordecai." She embraced him in a warm hug and softly kissed his cheek.

"I _can't_ forget you, Margaret." He said simply. He was afraid if he said anything else, his voice would crack with emotion. He allowed her to drop his hands and step away from him. She turned and walked into the gate to the plane, giving him a quick glance with sadness in her eyes a final time before she was out of sight.

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_A/N: Sorry this chapter is a kinda short, but it was a good stopping point. Let me know what you guys think so far. _


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Mordecai left the airport feeling like he'd hit rock bottom. He got into the cart, paid for parking and drove to the nearest bar he could find. It was an unfamiliar place called '_The Blue Moon_.' It was kind of run down looking and it wasn't exactly in the best part of the city, but it was right there and he desperately felt like he needed a few beers to help him forget everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Besides, he didn't want to risk going to '_McHooligan's'_ and running into someone from the park there. He still wasn't in the mood to deal with any of them.

He entered the bar and found a booth near the back where he thought he wouldn't be bothered. It wasn't very crowded, but at 7:00 in the evening it was still early. The waitress came by promptly. She was a pretty cardinal in her early twenties wearing a short black skirt with black hose, heels and a black and white striped top that probably should have been a size larger. She had her beak pierced and tattoos adorning her wrists and ankles. "_She looks like a lot like Margaret under all the accessories' _He thought to himself_, 'but not really my type_.'

"Are you okay?" the waitress asked noticing that he was obviously staring at her.

"Yeah." He muttered. "You just look kind of like someone I used to know. I'll take a beer please."

After a few minutes, the waitress came back with his beer. "Bad day?" she asked, placing the beer on the table in front of him. He must have looked like a train wreck sitting there soaking wet still from the rain with dried blood crusted on his forehead and obviously very down about something.

"Yeah." Mordecai mumbled after taking a long gulp of his beer. ''I guess you could say that."

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really…" he said. However, after a long pause, he muttered "My girl just broke up with me to go away to college, my best friend hates me and I'm probably fired for walking off my job today."

"Harsh…" the waitress replied. "I get off in an hour if you want to hang out with me and my friends. You seem pretty cool and it sounds like you could use some company tonight."

"Thanks, but…" Mordecai was about to tell her no, but then he thought about it. He could either go and try to have a good time, or he could go back to the park and listen to Benson yell at him for ditching work and taking the cart without permission. Plus, Rigby would probably end up saying something that would piss him off all over again. "Actually, that sounds great" he said.

"I'm Jessica" the waitress said.

"Mordecai. Nice to meet you, Jessica."

"Cool. Well I'll come get you when my shift is over. Let me know if you need anything else.

"Another beer, please" Mordecai said, eyeing his bottle. It was already over half empty. "Actually, go ahead and make it two." She brought him the beers and he sat and sipped them in silence for the next forty minutes until her shift was over.

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"Ready?" Jessica asked, coming from behind the bar with her purse. "I just clocked out."

"Sure, where are we going?" Mordecai asked.

"To my apartment - it's right around the block. We hang out there every night." She replied. They left the bar and Mordecai offered to drive them in the cart. He was a little embarrassed that he didn't have a real car, but at least it was better than walking in the rain. The storm looked like it was finally starting to taper off.

They arrived at the apartment to find several people already there. "Who're all these people? " Mordecai asked.

"One of them is my roommate" Jessica said, pointing to a blond haired girl sitting on the couch. "Everybody else is friends. Somehow my house gets designated for all the parties. I guess because our landlord is pretty cool about that kind of stuff."

Moredecai looked around. These weren't really the crowd of people that he usually hung out with. They were all dressed a lot like Jessica with dark clothing, tattoos and piercings. He didn't like to be stereotypical, but they were obviously metal heads evident by the sound of _Battlecross_ coming from the speakers. He and Rigby loved this kind of music, but had never adopted the style. The air was thick with the scent of marijuana. He started to second guess the idea and was about to tell her '_thanks, butno thanks_,' and get out of there, but before he could say anything she offered him a beer and told him to make himself at home. He relaxed a little, figuring that it couldn't hurt to have a couple more drinks, and then he would be on his way.

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At the park, Rigby became restless after a several hours. After finishing his work, he had a hard time finding ways to entertain himself. Things were pretty dull without Mordecai around. He and Mordecai had been nearly inseparable since they were little kids. He tried to play video games, but decided that was boring by yourself. He got on the internet for a while, but funny videos just weren't that funny without someone to laugh with. He attempted to hang out with Muscle Man and High Five Ghost, but quickly got sick of Muscle Man's constant "My Mom" jokes. He didn't know how Fives was able to put up with it all the time.

Rigby was still angry that Mordecai sucker punched him like that, but he started thinking that maybe he shouldn't have been so dismissive of Mordecai's feelings. He was only trying to help, but he probably should have just dropped it when Mordecai asked him to. Then, calling Mordecai a loser was a little over the top. He still didn't understand what the big deal was just because Margaret was leaving. For some reason, though, it was a big deal to Mordecai even if Rigby didn't get it. Maybe Mordecai was right and he just didn't understand because he'd never been '_in love_' with anyone before.

At 10:30 p.m., Mordecai still hadn't returned to the house and Rigby was starting to get a little concerned. He hadn't even called to let anyone know where he was - not that he needed to. They didn't keep tabs on one another or anything like that. Rigby still couldn't help but feel like something was wrong though. This just wasn't like Mordecai - fight or no fight. He considered calling Mordecai's cell, but quickly put the phone back down, deciding that was probably a bad idea. He decided he should probably give him his space. At 11:45 p.m., he climbed onto his trampoline and eventually fell asleep; sure that Mordecai would be back in his bed by morning.

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After six beers, Mordecai was feeling pretty good. He had gotten to know several people at the party and was having a great time. The dull ache that had been gnawing in his stomach all day over losing Margaret was finally starting to go away. He briefly wondered what Rigby was doing all by himself. '_He's probably just doing something lame anyway,_' Mordecai mused, then quickly let Rigby slip from his mind and focused on the party. Someone offered him a joint and he took it. He'd smoked pot a few times in high school and he figured it couldn't hurt. The rest of the night was a blur after that.

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_**A/N: **__Thanks to everyone who has reviewed! _

_Just a little note on the part where I described Jessica as a Cardinal and said that she looks like Margaret - I know Margaret is described as a Robin by all accounts, but she looks like a Cardinal, damnit! It really bugs me. Just thought I would clear that up since I'm sure someone will probably catch that and point it out._

_Let me know what you think so far! ~Summer_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone. Before we get started, I would like to make one thing clear - I am not trying to condone, endorse or promote the use of illegal drugs in any way, shape, or form. It's just story material from my overactive imagination. That why it's called ****_fiction_****. As for the alcohol, you don't really think that they would be drinking "soda" all the time on the show while they are partying if it was not on the Cartoon Network , do you? Perhaps you should check out some of Mr. Quintel's earlier work. ;-) With all that being said, on with the story...**

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Chapter 4

Mordecai awoke the next morning in a bed that was not his own with a splitting headache. He groaned and rolled over only to realize that he was lying next to Jessica. "What the…!" He yelled and quickly jumped out of the bed.

Jessica stirred sleepily and opened her eyes. "You're awake." She said.

"Yes, I'm awake. What the hell happened? We didn't…Did we…?" Mordecai asked anxiously.

"Nothing happened. You passed out on the floor and we dragged you in here and put you in the bed to let you sleep it off. This just happens to be my bed and I wasn't going to sleep on the couch…..Dude, you were so wasted! "

"What're you talking about?"

"You drank like fifteen beers and smoked a ton of pot! "

_'__I definitely wasn't thinking about Margaret though_.' Mordecai thought to himself. "WHAT? Are you sure? I don't remember any of that."

"I don't guess that you would. You were completely out of it. I never would have guessed you for that type." She said.

"I'm not…I mean, I didn't used to be…but it was actually kind fun, from what I remember of it - even though my head is killing me now." Mordecai said. "Look, I've got to go to work. I'm already late. Thanks for...helping me take my mind off things."

"Not a problem. I'm glad you had a good time. Feel free to stop by any evening. I really enjoyed hanging out with you." Jessica offered, taking his hand.

"Uh…sure. Maybe I'll stop by again tonight. Thanks again." Mordecai said awkwardly. He wasn't sure if she was waiting for him to kiss her, but he just gave her hand a quick squeeze instead. She was cool, but she felt more like a friend. He wasn't ready to get involved with anyone else at this point. He turned and let himself out of the apartment.

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The alarm clock went off signaling it was time to get up for work. Rigby opened his eyes and covered his head with the pillow waiting for Mordecai to turn it off, but the constant beep did not let up. He crawled out from under his pile of clothes, which served as his blankets, and stared wide-eyed at Mordecai's bed. It was completely untouched - just as it was before he went to sleep. Mordecai never came back to the house last night.

Rigby showered and made his way to the front porch steps for the morning meeting. Everyone, except Mordecai, was already there. He sighed and took his seat.

Benson came out of the house carrying his clipboard and took his place at the bottom of the steps to start the meeting. "We have a lot of work to do today. The storms that rolled through yesterday downed a lot of leaves and branches. The park is a mess right now and I'm counting on you guys to get it back to normal by the end of the day. That means there is no time for slacking off! Skips, get the chainsaw and cut all the downed branches into manageable pieces. Muscle Man, you and High Fives are in charge of collecting them and hauling them to burn pile."

"Got it, boss." Muscle Man said.

"Pops, you can remove all the debris from the flowerbeds. Mordecai and Rigby – I trust you've had time to reconcile from your little argument yesterday. You two are on leaf duty. We need to have all the leaves and pinecones raked up – start with the playground area first." Benson briefly glanced up from his clipboard. "Hold on, where _is_ Mordecai?"

Everyone looked around and shrugged, then all eyes focused on Rigby. "Why are you all staring at me? I don't know where he is. He didn't come home last night! He didn't even call or anything!"

"Hey, you know who else likes to stay out all night and not call-" Muscle Man started.

"NOT NOW, Muscle Man!" Benson yelled, growing frustrated and slightly worried at the same time. "Has _anyone_ heard from Mordecai since yesterday?" Everyone shook their heads 'no' in unison. "Did _anyone_ bother to call him to see if he's okay after he obviously didn't come home last night?" Everyone looked around aimlessly, avoiding Benson's glare.

"Why am I not surprised? " Benson mumbled. "Call him, Rigby, and tell him that Benson said he needs to get to work now, or he's fired! And while you're at it you should probably apologize."

"Apologize? Apologize for _what_? He punched me first! Look at the bruise on my cheek! "Rigby shouted, standing up and pointing to the swollen bulge on his face. "He needs to apologize to me! I was only trying to get him to do something besides mope around the house all day and everyone wants to take his side and jump all over me about it!" Rigby knew that he could have handled the situation a little differently yesterday, but he didn't appreciate Benson telling him he had to apologize to Mordecai.

"Whatever Rigby, just get him on the phone NOW!" Benson said in exasperation, realizing that Rigby did have a point. "I'll give him yesterday, but I won't put up with him skipping work again today. Can you just find out where he is?"

"Okay, okay." Rigby pulled out his cell and dialed Mordecai's number. After only a few seconds, he pressed End on the phone and put it away. "It went straight to voicemail. The battery is probably dead."

"Oh, bad show! I do hope Mordecai isn't hurt!" Pops exclaimed.

"He has the cart too!" Muscle Man bellowed. "That means that I have to haul all those branches on foot! I'm gonna punch him in the face if he ever does come back!"

"Nobody is punching anybody, Muscle Man. I will deal with Mordecai when he shows up. Now, all of you need to stop slacking off and GET TO WORK!" Benson shouted. Everyone quickly jumped up from their seats on the stairs and headed in separate directions, getting ready for the day's work.

Rigby was on his way to the shed to get the rake when he saw the cart coming up the dirt path leading into the park. He felt a sense of relief when he saw Mordecai behind the wheel.

"Mordecai!" Rigby called, trying to get the blue jay's attention. He ran out to the middle of the path, blocking the way so Mordecai wouldn't blow past him. He watched as the cart drew nearer and started to slow, finally coming to a stop.

"Rigby. What do _you_ want?" Mordecai asked, obviously still angry.

"Dude, where have you been? Benson said he was gonna fire you if you didn't come to work today!"

"Don't worry about where I've been, _dude_. I have a life outside of the park, you know. Now get out of the way." Mordecai replied, a hint of arrogance to his voice.

"You do?" Rigby asked, ignoring his demand. If Mordecai had another life outside of the park, it was something that he was unaware of.

"Yeah dude, I've got new friends. They are so much cooler than anybody here."

"Oh…" Rigby sounded slightly hurt. "Look man, I'm sorry about yesterday." He fidgeted with his hands and kept looking around, obviously feeling uncomfortable with admitting he was wrong. "I shouldn't have pushed the issue about Margaret. I just didn't want you to sit around all day feeling sorry for yourself. I guess I went too far though."

"Whatever, dude." Mordecai tried to maintain his 'I don't care' attitude, but his features softened a little. Rigby could be a pain sometimes, but he couldn't stay mad at him for long.

"So, are we cool again?" Rigby asked.

There was a long pause as Mordecai seemed to consider it for a moment. "…I guess…sorry I punched you." He muttered, barely audibly.

"No worries, man. I didn't even feel it."

"Pffft…yeah right!"

"So where did you go all night?" Rigby asked.

Oh, you know, just hung out and stuff with….people. What kind of lame job does Benson have us doing today?" Mordecai changed the subject.

"Raking leaves. I was on my way to the shed to get the rake."

"Great, sounds like a blast." Mordecai rolled his eyes. "I'm going to go let Benson know I'm here before he blows a gumball or something."

"Okay, we're supposed to do the playground first, then I thought we could go get lunch at _Cheezers_ and go play a few rounds of _Strong Johns_ before we hit the walking trails. I'll get the rakes and meet you over there." Rigby said happily, glad that things seemed to be getting back to normal.

"Sure, dude. See you there." Mordecai drove off toward the house to see Benson.

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**A/N: More soon. Thanks for reading and, as always, let me know what you think. ~Summer**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4**

Mordecai pulled the cart up to the font of the house to find Muscle Man and High Fives there, each carrying an armload of wood.

"It's about time, grandma." Muscle Man roared, throwing down the pile of lumber. "Give me that cart before I break your face. Me and Fives have already had to make three trips on foot!"

"Calm down, dude! You can have the cart! I didn't even know you needed it!" Mordecai exclaimed, quickly throwing him the keys.

"Well you would know if you had bothered to come to work this morning, wouldn't you?"

"Sorry, dude. I overslept." Mordecai responded.

"You are in so much trouble, bro. Benson was fuming this morning when you didn't show up." Muscle Man warned, dropping the cart issue.

"I know. Rigby already told me. I guess I need to go in there and try to smooth things over." Mordecai began climbing the steps toward front door. Before he got there, the door flew open to reveal an angry looking Benson in the doorway.

"Uh…Hey Benson! How's it going?" Mordecai tried to play it cool like nothing was wrong.

"My office. Now." Benson said irritably.

"Sure thing!" Mordecai followed him into the house as they made their way to Benson's office.

"How nice of you to show up for work today, Mordecai." Benson said, closing the office door. That could only mean bad things were about to happen.

"I'm sorry, Benson. I accidently overslept. It won't happen again!" Mordecai said nervously.

"Rigby said you didn't come home last night."

"Yeah, uh, I met this girl and – "

"You don't have to tell me what you did, Mordecai. It's none of my business. Look, I'm not mad. I just want to make sure everything is okay with you. Skips told me the whole story about what happened with Margaret and you seem pretty broken up about it."

"I'm fine…Wait, you mean you're not going to yell at me?" Benson's sudden change in demeanor took Mordecai off guard.

"No, not this time. Let's just say I know exactly how you feel right now. Me yelling at you isn't going to help anything. I understand that you left because you needed to blow off some steam. "

"Uh, yeah, thanks Benson."

"Have you talked to Rigby yet? I've never seen you two so mad at each other before. "

"I saw him on the way in. I think we're cool now. He just doesn't understand what it feels like, that's all."

"Rigby can be very immature sometimes. I think he means well though. I'm glad you two have worked things out. That doesn't give you an excuse to go slack off and screw something up together though! "

"Right. Don't worry, Benson."

"I've heard that one before. Just go get to work. Rigby _is supposed to be _raking leaves on the playground."

"Okay, I'll meet him there." Mordecai turned to leave the office.

"Mordecai?" Benson called before he shut the door "Just let me know if you need someone to talk to about anything, okay?"

"Sure Benson. Thanks. "

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"So what did Benson say?" Rigby asked as Mordecai walked towards the playground.

"Nothing. He didn't even yell at me. He just told me to get to work. Weird." Mordecai grabbed a rake and started a small pile of leaves next to the swings.

"Yeah, Benson's pretty weird sometimes. You never know what kind of mood he's going to be in. Sometimes he's really cool and nice to us, then five seconds later he's screaming at us and threatening to fire us. He must be bipolar or something." Rigby pointed out.

"I know, dude. I think in my case though he kind of gets how I feel about losing Margaret so maybe not yelling at me for leaving is just his way of showing he understands. I get the feeling that there was someone he really cared about in his past—even though he never talks about it." Mordecai said.

"Hmmmph, Hmmmph…Dude, I bet you're right! Maybe that's why he's so weird now. He was probably really cool just like us then one day some girl probably ditched him and it turned him into this bipolar lunatic that yells all the time!" Rigby exclaimed as if he had just figured out something very important.

"Yeah, probably something like that." Mordecai shrugged.

"So what do you want to do tonight? " Rigby changed the subject. .

"Sorry, dude, I have plans." Mordecai said, not bothering to go into further detail.

"What do you mean you have plans? Margaret is gone."

"I know, Rigby! You don't have to remind me!" Mordecai retorted "I told you, I met some new people."

"Sorry, sore subject. Don't get crazy on me again." Rigby said. "I really thought you were just saying that stuff about new friends to make me feel bad earlier. .

"No, dude, I was serious….Sorry I snapped at you. It's like I try to forget about her and every time I turned around something or someone reminds me of her. Still can't believe she just left like that. I wish I had never kissed her. This would be so much easier if we were still just friends."

"Yeah…." Rigby said awkwardly. This wasn't exactly his area of expertise and he didn't know what to say to make Mordecai feel better so he avoided it altogether. "Can I come hang out with your new friends too?"

"I don't really think they're your type of people, dude. I promise we'll hang out tomorrow night."

"Sure we will." Rigby said disappointedly.

"I said I promise."

"What does that even mean – _they're not your type of people_?" Rigby finally asked. "What type of people _are_ my type of people?"

"Well, you know, dude. They aren't really into videogames and pranks and stuff like that." Mordecai carefully tried to dodge the word 'immature' to avoid another argument and hurting Rigby's feelings.

"So what makes them _your_ type of people, then?" Rigby demanded.

"I guess I'm starting to outgrow that kind of stuff." Mordecai said.

"What are you talking about, man? Are you feeling okay? Two days ago you were all about videogames and pranks. What the hell happened to you last night?"

"Nothing…I guess. They just seem to _get_ me." Mordecai responded, not wanting to discuss his new pastime with Rigby.

"Who could possibly know you better than me?" Rigby questioned.

"Look dude, I already made plans tonight. Sorry." Mordecai was becoming slightly annoyed with Rigby's prying questions. "I promise we'll hang out tomorrow. Give me a break, okay?"

"Okay, okay. It's cool. You don't have to hang out with your _best bro_ if you don't want to." Rigby teased. "Man, you sure have been acting weird since Margaret left."

"Ugh!" Mordecai groaned. He threw his rake down in frustration and took a seat on one of the nearby swings. He wanted nothing more than to change the subject. Rigby had no clue how to be tactful. If he wasn't bringing up Margaret again he was asking too many questions.

"Geez, sorry." Rigby finally noticed that the blue jay was becoming irritated by the direction the conversation was going. "I won't say anything else about it." He pretended to focus on halfheartedly gathering pinecones into a small pile while he waited for Mordecai to stand up and start raking again. "What do you say we blow this place and go to _Cheezers _now?" he asked after a few minutes of awkward silence.

"Yeeh-yah! That sounds like an awesome idea!" Mordecai agreed, glad Rigby wasn't going to push the issue any further.

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**A/N:****Thanks for reading.**** More soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: On with the next chapter. The last one was kind of uneventful so hopefully this one makes up for it. The timeline for this chapter takes place about a month after the previous chapter (the first few paragraphs summarize what happened in that month.) If you missed my disclaimer in Chapter 4, please go back and read it now. Enjoy!**

Chapter 6

The next month passed much the same, much to Rigby's annoyance. Mordecai would hang out with him at work and in the evenings every once in a while, but most of the time he bolted as soon as the work day was over. He was spending all his free time these days with his "friends" that he refused to talk about with anyone at the park. Rigby missed how things used to be and the crazy situations they used to find themselves in. Life was a blast back then—even though they were always in trouble for one thing or another.

What was even stranger was that Mordecai had begun acting very bizarre. He had become quiet and seemed to be walking around in a fog more often than not. Rigby chalked it up to him still being depressed over Margaret and hoped he would soon snap out of it. He missed his best bro and desperately wanted things to go back to normal.

Mordecai felt bad for leaving Rigby on his own so much, but in his mind he didn't have much of a choice. He couldn't tell Rigby, or anyone, what he was really doing with all his free time. He had quickly spiraled downhill since the day that Margaret left and he met Jessica. He was convinced that the only things that would help him get through his day were the drugs that he'd started using on a regular basis. He never wanted to be dependent on these substances—nobody ever does. He was in his weakest moment when Jessica showed up in his life and she gave him the means to relieve his pain and forget. That worked out great in the beginning, but more recently it wasn't even really about Margaret anymore. He just wanted it. He and Jessica were just friends, but he hung out with her nearly every night so he could get his fix. Every time he found himself going back it was always _just one more time_, but one more time always turned in to one more time after that.

Mordecai made his choice with his own free will. He was convinced that it was something he couldn't do without. He was getting deeper and deeper into his addiction. At first it was only in the evenings at Jessica's place, but it was quickly turning into several times a day. He found himself disappearing into the woods during work when Rigby was busy with something to have another joint, or sometimes something even stronger. He desperately hoped that no one noticed his odd behavior.

"Mordecai!" Rigby called. "Mordecai!"

"Huh, what?" Mordecai said distantly. He was sitting on the front porch steps. He and Rigby had just finished picking up trash. Rigby had gone in the house for a soda while Mordecai took the opportunity to take another hit while no one was around. His mind was foggy and he vaguely heard Rigby come out of the house and say something just seconds ago, but his thoughts were elsewhere and he was having a hard time processing what it was.

"Damn! Are you even listening to me? I said that Benson wants us to wash the cart now!"

"I'm listening, dude. I was just thinking about something." Mordecai replied.

"You must do a lot of thinking these days, I guess. "

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mordecai asked.

"What the hell is going on with you, man?" Rigby couldn't really pinpoint exactly what was wrong with Mordecai lately, but he sensed that something was off. He'd had enough of pretending that things were normal and decided to find out what.

"Nothing." Mordecai answered a little too quickly. "What're you talking about?"

"You've just been acting really weird lately. Ever since you started hanging out with those new people all the time it's like you don't want to do any of the stuff we used to do anymore. You don't even _act_ the same. Where's my bro?" Rigby demanded, glaring at Mordecai.

"I don't know what you're talking about, dude." Mordecai avoided his stare. He didn't like lying to Rigby, but he had no choice. He couldn't tell him the truth. "I'm totally the same. Maybe I'm just growing out of all that stuff. Maybe you should start growing up too."

"STOP TALKING! You're not the same! You're weird now! Even Muscle Man and Fives notice it!" Rigby threw his arms up in frustration.

"You've been talking about me to Muscle Man and Fives behind my back?" Mordecai asked defensively.

"Who am I supposed to talk to? It's not like _you're_ ever around to talk to anymore, dude. They asked me if I thought you were acting strange lately."

"What did you tell them?" Mordecai demanded.

"I told them that you don't act the same anymore. Because you're DON'T, dude!" Rigby pointed at Mordecai accusingly.

Mordecai sighed, trying to play off his uneasiness. This wasn't good. They were starting to get suspicious. He had to think of something quickly. "I'm totally going to show you that I haven't changed, dude. How do you feel about a little _extreme carting_?"

"Extreme Carting?" Rigby grinned.

"EXTREME CARTING, DUDE! OOOOOOOOHHH!" Mordecai shouted, pumping his fist in the air.

"OOOOHHHHHHHH!" Rigby joined in happily.

"Let's go! We'll wash the cart later."

"Yeah dude! That's the Mordecai I know!" Rigby exclaimed.

The two of them ran over to the cart, which was parked in front of the house, and jumped in. As Mordecai slid behind the wheel he suddenly had a brief moment of clarity. "_WHAT the hell was I thinking? I m high as a kite'_ he thought to himself. '_I shouldn't be doing this.'_ He hesitated and apprehensively looked over at Rigby, but it was too late to turn back. Rigby would surely know something was up if he did.

"What's wrong, dude?" Rigby asked. "Are we gonna do this, or what?"

"Yeah dude!" Mordecai finally slammed his foot on the gas and did three donuts in front of the house, then took off down the path. He headed for the skateboard park, pushing the cart to its maximum speed. He'd driven this course at least a hundred times—he was sure he'd be fine. The cart went airborne over a small hill and landed on the railing of some steps, skidding down the pole on the left front and back tires.

"Hold it!" Mordecai called, taking is foot off the gas to let gravity take over. "Hold it!"

"I'm holding it! I'm holding it!" Rigby responded as he grabbed the roof poles on the passenger side, shifting the weight in the cart so it wouldn't flip over.

The cart landed with a thud on all four tires at the bottom of the steps.

"Whoooaaaaaaa! That was sick!" Rigby exclaimed.

Mordecia pushed in the gas and sped toward the halfpipe. The cart flipped unnaturally up one side and down the other a few times, then headed for the bowl. They did several whirpool spins around the bowl, defying gravity, then put the cart back on solid ground. Mordecai breathed a sigh of relief as he slowed the cart down to a normal speed.

"That was awesome! " Rigby yelled excitedly. "Wait, what are you doing?" he asked, noticing that Mordecai had turned back in the direction of the house.

"I guess we need to go wash the cart now, dude."

"What? No way, dude! We still have to do _The Hill!_" Rigby goaded.

"No, dude. Not today." Mordecai said flatly. _The Hill_ was something they'd recently added to their extreme carting course. It was actually a one and a half mile long path that went up to the highest peak in the park. At the top were tables where park-goers could enjoy a view of the city while they had a picnic. The trail was narrow with several switchbacks and sharp curbs. Their goal was to see how fast they could reach the bottom. They'd only done it a couple of times and Mordecai still didn't feel completely comfortable with it—even when he was sober.

"What's the matter, Mordecai? You're not _scared_, are you?" Rigby taunted.

"What? No way, dude! It's almost quitting time and we still need to wash the cart. I just don't want to get Benson started in on us, that's all." Mordecai tried to make up excuses that sounded valid.

"Since when are you worried about Benson?" Rigby asked. "You know he's just gonna yell and threaten to fire us, then tomorrow everything will be back to normal. Who cares!"

"I don't think it's a good idea..."

"I think you're _scared_!" Rigby provoked.

"I'm NOT scared, dude!" Mordecai said defensively, unable to come up with more excuses.

"Well, let's DO IT, then!"

"Okay, but if we get in trouble, I'm blaming everything on you dude!" Mordecai sighed and turned the cart around, heading for _The Hill_. He didn't want to do this in his current condition, but he knew Rigby would never leave it alone, or let him live it down, if he refused.

The path up to the top was shrouded by large trees on each side, which only allowed a little sunlight to penetrate through gaps in the branches every so often. Mordecai drove in silence. He tried to memorize where the sharpest curbs where, but was having a hard time thinking clearly. When they reached the top, Mordecai stopped the cart for a moment to take in the view.

"Are you ready for this?" Rigby asked with excitement.

"Yeah, dude." Mordecai responded, sounding less than enthusiastic. He looked down and noticed that his hands were shaking slightly from thinking about it so he quickly grabbed the steering wheel before Rigby noticed.

"I think we're _totally_ going to beat our last record this time!"

"Yeah, dude." Mordecai repeated.

"What's wrong, aren't you pumped? You're the one who came up with this idea in the first place!" Rigby reminded him.

Mordecai had come up with the idea to race down _The Hill_ in the cart several months ago to make their extreme carting a little more interesting, but that was when he'd been completely sober. Even then, it seriously challenged his driving skills. A lot had changed since then. "Of course, I'm pumped, dude!" he lied, trying to sound eager.

"Well, what're you waiting for? Let's GO!" Rigby looked at his watch so he could compare their time to their current record once they reached the bottom.

"Okay, let's DO THIS!" Mordecai shouted. He sucked in a deep breath and pressed his foot to the gas. The cart started slowly down the hill at first, but quickly gained speed. He maneuvered through the first set of switchbacks fairly easily and started to relax a little.

"Faster Mordecai! We're never going to beat our record at this rate!" Rigby called.

Mordecai gritted his teeth and pushed the speed a little higher. He took the next sharp curb on two wheels . His mind was racing, but he could vaguely hear Rigby urging him to go faster still somewhere off in the distance. The trees started to blur together into one dark mass, distorting his vision, which was not very sharp to begin with due to the drugs. He started to feel dizzy and his heart felt like it was going to slam through his chest. He lifted his foot off the gas, causing the cart to begin slowing down.

"UHH! What are you doing, dude?" Rigby yelled, realizing that their speed was dropping. "We're almost there! You've got this!"

"_Okay_ Rigby!" Mordecai slammed his foot down on the gas again. The next curb started coming way too quickly. He steered left into the curb with no problem, but then his mind over calculated the distance and he pulled the wheel sharply back to the right too soon. The cart careened off the path and skidded a short distance down the side of the slope before slamming hard into a large tree.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading and don't forget to review. The next chapter is coming soon! ~Summer**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Mordecai slowly opened his eyes, wondering where he was. His head was throbbing, his muscles ached and he felt an agonizing pain in his left wing. As his eyes focused, all he could see was the ground and the base of the tress. "Uhhhh"" he groaned, "What the hell happened?" He lifted his head slowly off the ground and yelled out in pain when he tried to put pressure on his wing. Hesitantly, he looked down and saw a long, deep gash along the top that was bleeding profusely. It was likely ripped open on the metal of the cart when he was thrown out. With a lot of effort, he managed to crane his neck to look around and saw the mangled cart crashed into a large tree.

"Oh shit, where's Rigby?" Mordecai murmured as everything started coming back to him. The adrenaline coursing through his body had instantly sobered him. The last thing he remembered was trying to regain control of the cart after it swerved off the path. He looked around for the raccoon, but was unable to see him anywhere.

"RIGBY!" Mordecai shouted, but received no answer. "RIGBY!" He managed to pull himself up on his knees and one good wing. He started slowly crawling through the dead leaves and brush. Every move he made sent another wave of excruciating pain shooting through his injured wing. He knew he was losing blood fast, but he didn't care. All he cared about was finding Rigby.

"RIGBY!" Mordecai yelled again. The blue jay looked around through blurred vision and finally noticed a brown and black object sprawled on the ground about thirty feet from the cart. "No, no, no, no…" he repeated as he forced his body to push forward and made his way over to Rigby. The raccoon was lying at the base of a tree that he had obviously slammed into when he'd been thrown from the cart. His forehead was bleeding badly from several lacerations and his right arm was bent at an unnatural angle.

"Rigby? Wake up! Come on, dude. Wake up!" Mordecai gently shook his friend to no avail. "Oh God, Rigby. What have I done?" He frantically pressed his ear to the raccon's chest, listening for a heartbeat. It was weak, but it was there. The blue jay breathed an uneasy sigh of relief. Rigby was alive, but he was badly injured. He didn't know how serious his friend's wounds were, or how much time he had left without medical intervention. He needed to get help. "Hang on, Rigby."

"FUCK!" Moredcai yelled as he hysterically searched for his cell phone only to realize that it too must have been thrown into the woods by the impact. Rigby's was nowhere to be found either. The phones could be anywhere in the thick underbrush and he was too weak and in too much pain to look for them. Nausea and dizziness were beginning to set in as his blood loss started catching up with him.

"I'm so sorry Rigby. You have no idea. This is totally my fault." Mordecai said, his voice cracking with emotion. He completely blamed himself for all of this. Sure, Rigby was the one that told him to go faster, but if he hadn't been so high he would have been able to handle it - just as he had handled in the past. The drugs caused this, not Rigby. And he was the one to blame for it. He hated himself in this moment for being so stupid and selfish. '_Why did I feel like I had to prove myself with the whole extreme carting idea in the first place when I knew how high I was_?' He silently asked himself. '_Why the hell did I even have to shoot up at work to begin with_? _What the fuck is wrong with me?_"

Tears began to trickle down his face as he realized that his best friend may be dying. He himself may be dying if he continued to lose blood. And there was nothing he could do about any of it. It could be hours, even days, before anyone came down the path again and found them. His mind started feeling very clouded so he lied down on the ground beside Rigby. If Rigby died from his irresponsible decision, Mordecai hoped that he died right along with him because he knew that it would haunt him every moment for the rest of his life and he would never forgive himself.

Through the haze, Benson's voice suddenly played in his head from one of their _Survival Skills_ trainings. He and Rigby had ignored most of it and sat in the back cracking jokes, as usual, but his subconscious registered Benson saying something about needing to keep an injured person warm until help arrived. Mordecai mustered enough strength to wrap his good wing around Rigby and pull him close to his chest. Dangling on the edge of consciousness, he rested his head on the ground and started thinking about the course of events that had ultimately led up this moment.

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**A/N: Sorry this one is short, but you won't have to wait too long for the next chapter. I have decided to give this story an M in later chapters. Thanks for reading! ~Summer**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: WARNING: This chapter (and some future chapters) may be considered an M rating for drug use and language. I don't think the whole story should be rated M, but there are a couple of chapters that go into a bit more detail concerning the use of drugs. Enjoy! **

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Chapter 8

_Twenty-seven Days Earlier…_

Mordecai arrived at Jessica's apartment for the evening. He and Rigby had finished their work for the day, but not before spending an ample amount of time slacking off at _Cheezers_ and the arcade. He felt guilty about leaving Rigby on his own, but all day he couldn't stop thinking about smoking some more pot. He liked Jessica as a friend, but he couldn't deny the _real_ reason he wanted to hang out with her again so badly. Margaret had barely crossed his mind when his thoughts were clouded by the drugs and alcohol the previous evening.

Mordecai tried to have a good time hanging out with Rigby, but the entire time thoughts of Margaret were churning in the back of his mind. He couldn't forget the way her lips felt on his cheek at the airport or the look she gave him just before she disappeared into the gate to board the plane. He couldn't forget the night up on Lookout Mountain when they shared their first kiss that he had been longing to feel for years. He couldn't forget all the fun times they'd had together on dates, or just sitting in the coffee shot chatting about life. The emotional pain was enough to make him physically sick just thinking about it. He didn't understand why fate had been so cruel to him. He finally had the love of his life only to have her ripped away from him with little warning after only a few weeks of happiness.

Mordecai knew what he was doing wasn't the brightest idea, but he was willing to do almost anything at this point ease his heartache. '_It's just a temporary thing_,' he convinced himself. He was sure that he would eventually be able to get back to a normal life without Margaret, or the marijuana, in time. Right now he needed to be free from the emotional torment and the pot helped him accomplish that.

He knocked on the door to apartment thirteen and Jessica promptly answered. "Mordecai!" She greeted him. "Glad you could make it back tonight. Come in."

"Yeah, there wasn't much going on at the park so I figured I'd stop by." Mordecai said.

"Sweet! We aren't expecting the crowd we had last night, but more people will be here soon."

"That's cool. Last night was fun." Mordecai said.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." Jessica laughed. "I really liked your company too. So...you want a beer?"

"You know it!" Mordecai took the beer she offered and relaxed on the couch. About that time, a guy entered the apartment with Jessica's roommate.

"Dude! You're back!" The guy said.

"Yeah, dude. I had a blast last night. I had to come back." Mordecai said.

"Man, I've never seen anyone party so hard before! You were completely wasted!"

"I know, dude." Mordecai agreed. "I paid for it this morning, but it's cool. I had a great time."

"Mordecai, I don't know you were officially introduced last night. This is this is my roommate Christine and her boyfriend Alex." Jessica clarified.

"Yeah, we met, but not officially." Mordecai quoted the word _officially_ with his fingers, getting a brief laugh out of them. Christine and her boyfriend were both human. She was average height with a slender build and had long, blond hair and blue eyes. Her boyfriend, Alex, was a tall with spiked, black hair and green eyes.

"So what are we waiting for—let's get this party started!" Alex exclaimed. He pulled a bag of weed out of his leather jacket and proceeded to pack his bowl. He took a long drag and passed it to Mordecai.

"Thanks, dude." Mordecai lit the bowl and inhaled, which caused him to cough like crazy, then passed it to Jessica. Within a few minutes he started feeling lightheaded. His mind started racing, quickly jumping from one thought to the next. He watched as they continued to pass the bowl around, his eyes fixating on that one object as his mind wondered.

It seemed like several hours had passed when it reality it was only a couple of minutes. One minute Mordecai was enjoying the dazed feeling, and then out of nowhere he suddenly felt very anxious. He couldn't shake the notion that something was wrong and started to have second thought about what he'd done. "Oh shit, I shouldn't be doing this. What was I thinking? Oh shit, Oh shit..." He started to babble.

"Calm down, dude! What's going on?" Alex asked.

"I shouldn't be doing this!" Mordecai exclaimed.

"Why not, dude? It's just weed."

"They're all going to know! Benson's going to fire me!" Mordecai said frantically.

Alex laughed. "Relax. It's just the paranoia setting in. It'll pass in a little while. It's fine, dude. Whoever the hell Benson is isn't even going to find out. I guess you don't do this much, huh?"

"Last night was my first joint in since I was a freshman in high school. I never got into it back then. I guess I was too drunk to notice being paranoid last night." Mordecai said, beginning to settle down a little. After the paranoia passed, he was in a much mellower mood. They spent the rest of the evening listening to music, laughing, and chatting about anything and everything as they continued to smoke pot and drink beer. Mordecai was happy and grateful to have his mind off of Margaret for the first time all day.

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_Seventeen Days Earlier…_

Mordecai knocked on Jessica's door once more. It was now a nightly ritual. Rigby had practically begged him to stay home and play _Dig Champs_ with him, but all he could think about was getting high again. "Sorry, Rigby. Maybe tomorrow." He'd said.

"You've said that every night this week, dude." Rigby had complained, but Mordecai was already on his way out the door.

It's not that he didn't want to hang out with Rigby. Rigby just didn't understand the emotional pain he was feeling. He couldn't just play video games and goof off like everything was normal. He needed to escape from normalcy because normalcy reminded him too much of Margaret.

During the past week, Mordecai had grown closer with Jessica and her friends. They didn't do anything besides party together, but that was enough for him. He was looking for a way to take his mind off of his pain and they were able to provide him with that means. Each night he smoked pot, he grew more accustomed to the sensation it provided and he liked it more and more. Now, he found it hard to imagine an evening without hanging out with Jessica and getting high. He wasn't necessarily dependent on it, but he definitely craved it and spend the better part of his days at work eagerly awaiting the evening ahead.

"Hey Mordecai." Jessica said, opening the door.

Mordecai knew she liked him and would be happy if he tried to advance their relationship to the next level, but so far he had given her nothing to indicate that he wanted to be anything more than friends –because he didn't. She was a bit rough around the edges, but nice enough. He just didn't need or want to get involved with another woman at this point. The last thing he needed was to get emotionally attached to someone else only to have it end badly again. Remaining friends felt safe and safety meant that nothing could go wrong. As long as nothing went wrong, he could continue to get his fix each night.

"Hey, what's going on?" Mordecai asked casually. Christine and Alex were there as well.

"We've got something special for you tonight." Jessica said.

"What is it?" Mordecai wondered.

"Alex scored some smack." Jessica grinned.

"Heroin?" Mordecai asked uneasily. Pot was one thing, but this was a whole different ballgame.

"Yeah, you've gotta try it." Alex spoke up. "The feeling is awesome. There's nothing like it!"

"Okay…sure." Mordecai said hesitantly. He really wasn't so sure, but after reasoning it out with himself he decided to give it a try. '_It's just a one time thing'_ he rationalized. '_What could it possibly hurt?_'

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**A/N - I would like to thank GearSolidSnake for encouraging me to go into more detail regarding Mordecai's addiction and for the idea to do it through flashbacks. I may have to change the rating, but I think it will be a better story overall because of it. Let me know what you guys think. ~Summer**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_Present Day…_

When Mordecai opened his eyes again, he felt completely drained and was freezing cold. The sun was setting and the forest was now shrouded in darkness. He was still lying on the ground in the same spot, but now there was an odd red glow that seemed to bounce off the trees in a bizzare circular pattern. '_Am I dead?_' he silently wondered. He remembered that Rigby should have been next to him, but he was gone. "Rigby?" Mordecai called out, but his voice came out barely above a whisper.

Familiar voices were talking anxiously somewhere off in the distance. When he turned his head to look in that direction, he realized that the red glow was coming from an ambulance and the voices he heard were his park friends. He lied there shivering when he noticed that someone was coming towards him with what appeared to be blanket. As the figure drew closer, he realized it was Benson.

"Benson?" Mordecai asked weakly.

"He's awake!" Benson called back to the others. They started making their way over to Mordecai too, but the paramedics promptly ordered them to stay back and out of the way.

"So cold…" Mordecai said, shivering uncontrollably.

"I know, take it easy, Mordecai. You've lost a lot of blood." Benson said, covering him with the blanket. "You're very lucky that a couple spotted the wrecked cart on the way up to the peak for an evening picnic and reported the accident. You would not have been alive in the morning. " He was livid about the wrecked cart and the whole ordeal, but now was not the time or the place to express his extreme displeasure with the blue jay.

"Rigby! Where is Rigby?" Mordecai asked frantically.

"He's already in the ambulance." Benson said flatly.

"Is he okay?"

"We don't know yet, Mordecai. He has some pretty serious injuries." Benson sighed. "The paramedics are working on him now. They need to get you two to the hospital immediately."

"Hospital? No Benson. No hospital. I'm fine. Just take care of Rigby. Take me back to the house." Mordecai said shakily.

"You _have _to go to the hospital, Mordecai. You're badly hurt and starting to go into shock."

"No hospital! Don't take me to the hospital!" Mordecai pleaded. He then noticed two men moving toward him with a stretcher. "No! Tell them to stop! Please!"

"You're not thinking clearly because of your injuries, Mordecai. You're _going_ to the hospital!" Benson ordered.

"No Benson, I'm fine! See?" Despite his pain and weakness, Mordecai desperately struggled to sit up in an attempt to hoist himself onto his feet.

"No Mordecai! Don't try to get up!" Before Benson could finish his sentence the blue jay's eyes rolled back in his head and he sunk to the ground unconscious once more.

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**A/N: Sorry to leave you guys with such a short chapter, but this might be the last update for at least a week as I am going out of town with my family. I ****_might_**** be able to finish up Ch. 10 tonight and if I do, I will post it before I leave tomorrow. **

**I am torn on what to do about the rating of this story. The M rating seems to be for intense violence and explicit sexual content, which this story does not have. Chapters 10+ will have a few more f-bombs and it will go into more detail about Mordecai's drug abuse. Not really the act of taking drugs, but more or less the psychological aspects of it. So I'll leave it up to you guys. If you think that kind of stuff warrants an M rating, I will change it. Leave a review or PM and let me know what you think.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N****: This is another one of those chapters that goes into a little more detail on Mordecai's thoughts and feelings due to the drug use. This is probably the most detailed one, actually. Nobody said anything about what they thought about the rating so I am leaving the overall story a T. Consider this a warning that some content in this chapter may be considered for more mature audiences. **

Chapter 10

_Nine Days Earlier…_

It had been a week since Jessica introduced Mordecai to heroin. Now, it was all he thought about. He would lie in bed each night and beat himself up over it – "_What the hell am I doing?__I must be crazy for allowing this to happen.__I never wanted to be like this.__I feel bad for turning my back on Rigby all the time because of this_." However, his inner demons would ultimately win the argument. "_I need it though. __It's the only thing that makes me feel good. __Maybe just a few more hits, then I'm done with it_. _I can stop anytime I want to.._."

The high was so euphoric and relaxing. Alex was right, there was nothing like it in the world. After first taking a hit, it gave him a rush of happiness that made him feel like he could accomplish anything. He didn't even care that Margaret was gone. As the high wore on, he became much mellower. It made his entire body feel warm and fuzzy. All he had to do was close his eyes and he could drift off into whatever fantasy he chose, yet have it feel completely realistic. The blissful state somewhere between being awake and teetering on the edge of dreamland was incredible.

Everything comes with a price though. From the very first syringe, he needed to have more. It was the only way to quench the craving and make him feel happy again. With each hit, he got deeper and deeper into his dependency on it. When he was not high, the only thing Mordecai cared about was getting high again. He would get irritable, depressed and restless until he was able to get his fix. He tried to calm the urge with pot, which helped a little, but it wasn't enough. He distanced himself Rigby and everybody else at the park whenever possible so they wouldn't notice it if he was acting a little strange.

Mordecai gathered up his entire savings and gave it to Alex in exchange for a couple of weeks' supply. His body was building a tolerance for the drug so he had to keep increasing the dose to get the effects he desired. He was constantly chasing the first high. The subsequent times were still euphoric, but nothing compared to the first time. With each hit, he strived to have that feeling back again. It worried him that he wouldn't be able to afford this habit for long, but he decided to deal with that when the time came. He was only concerned about the here and now and satisfying his urgent cravings.

Rigby was starting to give up on asking Mordecai to hang out after work anymore. The two were growing apart as Mordecai was now spending all his free time with Jessica.

"So, Benson's talking about putting together the bowling league again this year." Rigby said as he and Mordecai painted the shed.

"Yeah, I heard him say something about that at the meeting this morning. " Mordecai responded.

"That was a lot of fun last year."

"Yeah, it was. We really kicked those guys' butt good once Skips finally came back to the team." Mordecai reminisced.

"So, are you in?" Rigby asked.

"No, I don't think so, dude. I don't really have time to come to practice."

"What are you talking about? You have just as much free time as I do, man." Rigby pointed out.

"It's just, I usually have plans, dude. Sorry. Why don't you see if Muscle Man wants to do it?"

"No way! I'm not listening to his stupid _my mom_ jokes the whole time we're trying to bowl. And you _always_ have plans. You never want to do anything with us these days. You've been acting really strange, dude."

"Sorry Rigby. You're right. I'm guess I'm still down about Margaret. I didn't realize how obvious it was to everybody." Mordecai lied. He was still feeling upset over Margaret, but that was no longer the main reason he was acting strange.

"It's totally obvious, man! You're gone all the time! Did you think we just wouldn't notice? Where do you go all night anyway?" Rigby asked.

"We've been over this before, dude. There's this girl named Jessica that I met. Before you ask, we're just friends. I go hang out with her and her friends." Mordecai said.

"So I'm not cool enough for you now?"

"It's not that. It's nothing personal. I just need a break from the park for a little while. Too many memories here." Mordecai explained. This time he was being truthful.

"I wish you would hurry up and get over Margaret. It's so boring here without you around! If I have to listen to one more My Mom joke, I'm going to scream!" Rigby complained.

"Sorry, dude. I just need some space for a while. Things will be back to normal soon." Mordecai knew that things were getting further from normal every day, but he really wanted to get Rigby off his back about it.

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_Present Day…_

The next time Mordecai awoke, he was in a white room. The brightness of the walls, sheets and fluorescent lights hurt his eyes as he opened them and looked around. He was lying in bed, hooked up to an IV. His wing was tightly bandaged along with a few minor cuts on his face. "Shit" he muttered. Benson had taken him to the hospital despite his pleas. The slow drip of the IV fluid was providing nourishment to his body as well as delivering an intermittent dose of morphine to help ease his pain. The familiar warm and fuzzy feeling of the opiate, though nowhere near as intense as what he was used to, helped him to relax somewhat. He turned his head, hoping to see Rigby in the room's other bed, but it stood there neatly made and frighteningly empty.

There were voices out in the hall by his room talking just out of earshot. Mordecai recognized one of them as Benson's, but couldn't make out exactly what was being said. He was only able to pick up bits and pieces of the conversion. He strained his ears to listen to what they were talking about, hoping to find out Rigby's status.

"Critical condition….surgery to repair internal bleeding…broken arm…possible coma…." An unfamiliar voice came through in fragments. Moredecai's heart sank in his chest. He hoped to God that they were talking about someone else and not Rigby, but he in the back of his mind he knew the truth.

"…other patient?" The voice belonging to Benson asked.

"…a lot of blood…injuries aren't life threatening…shock seems to be wearing off…blood work...in his system." The unfamiliar voice explained.

"You found _WHAT_ IN HIS SYSTEM?" Benson's yell came through as clear as a bell.

"_I'm so screwed_." Mordecai thought. This was exactly why he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was over now. Everybody knew what he'd allowed himself to become. He had no idea what to expect from them or how they would react, but he knew that it wasn't going to be good. There was nothing he could do about it at this point so he relaxed his head on the pillow and let the morphine send him off into a fitful sleep.

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**A/N: I actually had to do research for this chapter. I certainly wasn't expecting for it to get that involved when I started this story. It's cool though. I learned a few things and what Mordecai is doing is something you definitely don't want to mess with! It takes over your life. Anyway, this is the last update before my trip so there will be more when I get back. Take a second and leave a review to let me know what you are thinking so far - love it, hate it, what needs improvement, etc. I don't offended by reviews that point out flaws as long as don't just say "it sucks" and leave it at that.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:****Thanks for the reviews. I'm back with Ch. 11. Enjoy!**

Chapter 11

_Three days earlier…_

Mordecai was completely hooked.. He was convinced that he couldn't go through the day without his fix and no longer pretended that he could. It wasn't enough to wait until he got to Jessica's in the evenings. He now wanted it, needed it, from the time he got up each morning. He found himself disappearing during work when no one was paying attention so he could shoot up. When he started to crash, he felt angry, edgy and anxious. He became short and confrontational with anyone who dared to get in his way. He was in a good mood when he was high, but he also became very quiet and lacked the motivation to do just about anything. The only thing he wanted to do was sit around in a fog with his thoughts. Everyone was starting to notice his bizarre behavior, but they all thought he was still just depressed over Margaret and stayed out of his way for the most part.

Mordecai threw down the hose and kicked over the scrub bucket, sending water and soap suds flying everywhere. Nothing was ever good enough for Benson. He and Rigby had been tasked with cleaning the fountain. He was sure that they were doing a good job, but Benson came along and pointed out all the spots they'd missed. He had told them to stop being slackers and do the job right. Mordecai managed to keep his temper in check, but quickly lost it as soon as Benson was out of earshot.

"I'm so fucking sick of this, dude!" Mordecai complained.

"What's wrong?" Rigby asked. He didn't really want to get Mordecai started, but he didn't know what else to say. Lately, it seemed like Mordecai had a problem with just about everything. Rigby was all about slacking off and doing the bare minimum, but even he had some small sense of responsibility to do what they were paying him to do. Mordecai seemed to get upset if he had to do _anything_ and God forbid that someone should say he wasn't doing it right. The slightest thing that made him angry would sometimes send him on a yelling rampage where he would complain about it for hours. Sometimes he would even lose control and break things out of anger if he was feeling especially intense about a subject. Rigby missed his carefree, fun-loving friend. Mordecai's depressed mood violent outbursts were starting to become worrisome.

"Fucking Benson, man! Nothing is ever good enough for him! We bust our asses around here and all he ever does is call us slackers and tell us how we screwed something up. I'm sick of his shit!" Mordecai ranted.

"I know, dude. That's just the way he is though. You _know_ that. He's always been that way." Rigby tried to calm him down, which was unusual. In the past it was always Mordecai trying to calm Rigby and convince him to do the right thing.

"Well I'm going to tell him where he can stick it the next time he starts calling us slackers!" Mordecai threatened. He felt edgy and irritable because he was crashing and in bad need of another fix. Nothing Rigby could say was going to make him feel any better.

"I don't think that's a good idea if you want to keep your job, dude." Rigby said.

"Dude, fuck this job! I could care less." Mordecai replied, kicking the overturned bucket again.

"Listen to what you're saying, man. What are you going to do? Where are you going to live? " Rigby asked.

Mordecai hadn't thought that far in advance. All he knew was that he was pissed and he was going to stay pissed until he was able to get what he wanted, which was another fix. He ignored Rigby's question and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket. He didn't really like to smoke, but Jessica and her friends smoked and he'd joined in a few times. He didn't do it very often, but it was something he could get away with in public and it seemed to help take the edge off whenever he got like this.

"What the hell, dude?" Rigby stared at him with wide-eyed disbelief.

"What?" Mordecai shrugged nonchalantly as he lit up the cigarette.

Muscle Man and High Fives drove up path in the cart on their way to their next job and interrupted them. "Hey Ladies." Muscle Man said as he stopped the cart. "What's burning?"

"It's just my cigarette, dude." Mordecai said casually.

"Your cigarette? Since when do you smoke?"

"Since when do you care, dude?" Mordecai retorted.

"As a matter of fact, I do care, bro." Muscle Man replied. "It's not cool, it smells and _I_ have to breathe in your stinking smoke!"

"Go somewhere else then if you don't fucking like it, _bro._" Mordecai snapped arrogantly.

"Why don't you make me, _bro_?"

Mordecai responded by taking a long drag from his cigarette and blowing it directly into the cart where Muscle Man was seated.

"Aw, that's it! You're asking for it!" Muscle Man balled his hands into fists and started out of the cart.

"Muscle Man don't!" High Fives interjected. The ghost grabbed Muscle Man by the arm.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Fives." Muscle Man said, beginning to calm down somewhat. "This loser isn't worth my time. Let's get out of here." He pointed at Mordecai and said "If you ever try something like that again, you're _dead_, bro!"

"Whatever, dude." Mordecai said. "I don't have to take this shit from you. I'm outta here." Mordecai used the opportunity as an excuse to leave so he could go get the hit that he desperately wanted. Rigby, Muscle Man, and High Fives all watched as he strode off in the direction of the house.

"What's his problem?" Muscle Man asked Rigby.

"I don't know, dude. He's been really weird lately. He leaves every night to hang out with these new people he met and doesn't come back until after midnight, he gets pissed off if anybody tells him to do anything, when he's not pissed he seems out of it, and now this. He seems to be getting more violent every day. I guess he's still depressed over the whole Margaret thing. He's starting to take it to a whole new level though."

"Yeah, we noticed. Well he better watch it because I'll break his skinny ass in half if he tries to mess with _me_ again." Muscle Man threatened.

"I'll talk to him when he's in a good mood and try to find out what's up." Rigby said.

"You better, bro, because something's going on with him and it's not good."

"What are you thinking?" Rigby asked.

"Sounds a lot like he's on drugs to me."

"What? No way. Not Mordecai. That's just not him, dude. It's gotta be something else." Rigby was unwilling to believe, or accept, that his best friend had become a junkie.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading and, as always, let me know what you think. More soon!**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

_Present Time…_

Mordecai lay awake in his hospital bed staring at the ceiling. He didn't know how long he'd been asleep, but nothing had changed upon waking. He was still alone in the room and no one from the park had been in to check on him that he was aware of. That was a good thing. When they did come he knew he was going to have a lot of explaining to do. The blue jay sighed and shook his head. He wished he could take it all back and start over. If he had only just gone back to the house that day instead of the bar, this never would have happened. He wasn't too worried about hurting himself, but hurting Rigby—who was innocent in all this—was almost too much for him to bear. Yet despite his remorse, all he could think about was his burning need for another hit. He wanted to escape from this harsh reality and there was only thing that could satisfy that desire. He silently vowed that he was through with it this time and would not give in to that need.

The door creaked open and Mordecai turned his head in the direction of the noise. He held his breath as he waited for the person on the other side to appear. It was Skips. He exhaled. Skips was better than Benson. His stomach churned at the thought of facing his boss's wrath and disappointment. He had a lot of respect for Benson and he felt ashamed letting him down.

"Mordecai, you're awake." The Yeti spoke in his low baritone.

"How's Rigby? " The blue jay avoided small talk and cut to the heart of the matter.

Skips sighed. "Rigby isn't doing very well, Mordecai. He just came out of surgery and now he's in the intensive care unit. They had to go in and repair some internal bleeding in his abdomen. The doctors say he's in a coma from the head trauma and have no idea when he will wake up...or even _if _he will wake up." He explained flatly.

Mordecai closed his eyes and covered his face with his wing, struggling to fight back tears. He felt like he was going to be sick as he choked back a sob. He didn't want lose control in front of Skips. A couple of minutes passed before he was able to pull himself together enough to speak again. "Where is Benson? " He asked shakily.

"Benson doesn't want to see you right now, Mordecai. He's too angry. I'm sure you can figure out why." The blue jay sat unresponsive in his hospital bed, uncomfortably avoiding Skips's glare for what seemed like eternity before the yeti finally spoke again. "_What_ were you thinking? I thought you were smarter than that, Mordecai. You've been doing marijuana and _heroin_? Don't you know what heroin does to a person?"

Mordecai sighed in defeat. They already knew so there was no use avoiding it. He figured that he may as well come clean instead of pretending that it wasn't as serious as it seemed. "I never meant for it to go this far, Skips."

"I'm sure you didn't, Mordecai. Nobody ever _wants_ to be an addict. "

"All I wanted was to feel better. It hurt so much after Margaret left." Mordecai cast his eyes downward to hide the fresh tears.

"How long has it been going on?" Skips asked.

"About a month, I guess. Nobody knew. Not even Rigby." Mordecai said.

"What happened? Maybe you should start at the beginning."

"It was the day Margaret left and Rigby and I got into a fight. After I left the house, I met this girl in a bar and went back to her place. There were a lot of people there and everybody was smoking pot so I smoked some too. It calmed me down and I was finally able to stop thinking about Margaret for a minute. She invited me back and soon we started hanging out to smoke pot every night. I felt bad for leaving Rigby all the time, but I couldn't help it. I wanted that feeling again. I _had _to forget Margaret and make the pain go away. I was fine with the marijuana. I enjoyed it, but I didn't _need_ it. I think I could have walked away from it pretty easily. Then, one night, they had some heroin. I only wanted to try it once. I swear, Skips! That's it! But it's like after I got a taste, it was all I could think about."

"That's usually how it happens. Go on." Skips urged.

"After that, the weed didn't work anymore. I couldn't get high enough and it wasn't the kind of high I wanted. The only thing that got me where I needed to be was shooting heroin again. It drove me crazy! When I wasn't high I was always tense and jittery from the anticipation of getting high again. Waiting all day to go to Jessica's for the next hit every time I came down became so excruciating that I started doing it all the time – even at work. I felt like I was losing my mind, Skips! After a while, it wasn't even about forgetting Margaret anymore, it was just about getting high. Even though I knew I shouldn't keep doing it, I felt like I had no choice. I _had_ to have it—like it was controlling me. Everybody and everything would get on my nerves when I wasn't high – to the point that I had become violent. I started smoking cigarettes just to help calm my nerves even though I don't even like to smoke! Every time I looked in the mirror I felt like there was a stranger looking back at me. Rigby was starting to get suspicious because he kept saying that I didn't act the same anymore. He was right, but I had to lie to cover it up so I tried to prove that I hadn't changed by taking him extreme carting – just like old times. I was so fucking high that I could barely see straight, but I did it anyway to prove a fucking point! How fucking stupid was that? I guess you can figure out what happened next."

Skips sat carefully considering what to say for a moment after all that he'd just heard. Mordecai had opened up to him and he didn't want to lose that trust by saying something that would condemn him for his actions. "I'm sorry you're going through this, Mordecai. I should have noticed the signs. I'm sorry I wasn't more observant. Maybe I could have helped before things got out of control. I knew you were broken up over Margaret, but it never crossed my mind you were turning to drugs to get through it." Skips said.

"You're sorry? I'm the idiot here! I'm the fucking junkie! I'm the one who might have fucking killed his best friend!" Mordecai raised his voice, teetering on the verge of becoming hysterical. The irritability from his withdrawals coupled with the anxiety over Rigby's condition was taking its toll on him. "Why couldn't it have been me that got hurt instead of Rigby? Why do I get to sit here with a fucking flesh wound and he might be dying when all of this is _MY_ FUCKING FAULT?"

"I can't answer that, Mordecai. All we can do is hope he pulls though. "

"What happens now?" Mordecai asked, regaining his composure somewhat.

"That depends on you. You're not seriously hurt so you'll probably be out of the hospital tomorrow. The doctors are not allowed to turn you over to the police just for finding the drugs in your system because that's confidential and you had no physical drugs on you when they brought you in. Since the police were not called to the scene of the crash you can't be charged with a DWI either." Skips explained.

Mordecai breathed a sigh of relief. He may have deserved to do some time, but it was the last thing he wanted.

"You need to get help, Mordecai." Skips said point blankly.

"I don't need rehab, Skips. I can do this on my own. I've made up my mind. I _will_ quit. This has really opened my eyes to what can happen with this shit."

"I think you're making a huge mistake, Mordecai, but we can't force you to go to rehab." Skips sighed. "It has to be your decision."

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Sometime after midnight, Mordecai's door opened again and two nurses entered pushing a stretcher with someone in it. Mordecai awoke with a start. Once his eyes adjusted, he realized that the stretcher's occupant was Rigby. He watched in silence as the nurses transferred him to the empty bed, set up his IV, adjusted various machines, took his blood pressure, and finally exited the room.

Mordecai pushed back the sheets and got out of his bed. He dragged his IV across the room to stand at his friend's side. Rigby looked terrible. His head and abdomen were bandaged and his arm was in a cast. He was hooked up an IV, a blood pressure monitor, and a machine to help him breath. His closed eyes appeared sunken in his face.

With no one around to witness, Mordecai allowed his tears to flow freely this time. "It should be me lying there, not you, Rigby. You had nothing to do with the reason why we are here. I did this to you. It's my fault. I was selfish and irresponsible. I put my need to feel good over the safety of my best bro and I'm so sorry." His voice cracked with emotion. He allowed himself to quietly sob for a few more minutes, then managed to pull himself together again. "We're going to get through this though, dude. Both of us. I'm going to need a lot of help from you so you've _got_ to get better soon. It's going to turn out okay, Rigby." The blue jay squeezed the raccoon's forearm as an act of reassurance to both of them, then returned to his bed.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading and for the reviews. More coming soon!**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The doctors came in to check Mordecai's wounds and physical condition early the next morning. They determined that there was no need for him to remain hospitalized and said that he could go home, ordering him to take it easy for a few days. The pushed the issue of rehab, but once again he refused. He felt confident that he could get through this on his own.

Mordecai called Skips to come pick him up, then spent some time at Rigby's bedside before leaving. The raccoon's condition hadn't changed overnight. His vitals were stable, but he was still unresponsive. "I've gotta go now, dude, but I'll be back to see you soon. I know you're going to pull though this in no time. I can't wait to kick your butt at _Dig Champs _when you come home. You can even be player one if you want. Just once though cause I hate using that lame pickaxe. See you later, bro." It was killing Mordecai to see him this way, but he tried to keep the mood lighthearted and encouraging just in case his friend could hear him.

It had been over twenty-four hours since his last hit and he was beginning to feel the first effects of the withdrawals. The morphine in the hospital had helped some, but now that had been taken away from him as well. He was developing aches and pains and felt like he was coming down with the flu as his body tried to recover from the toxin. Though he felt very jittery and on edge from his craving, he tried to hide it as they drove home in Skips's Volkswagen van.

"How are you holding up?" Skips asked.

"I'm fine. I feel great." Mordecai lied.

"You don't have to lie to me, Mordecai. I know what happens during detox."

"How do you know so much about addiction and detox, Skips?"

"I'm over 200 years old. I've had my fair share of experience with this kind of thing. I've been addicted to a couple of different things during my lifetime. It never gets any easier getting clean again either."

"So why did you do it again after getting clean the first time?" Mordecai wondered.

"Life throws curbs, Mordecai. Like I told you yesterday - no one ever intends to become an addict. These things just have a way of happening. Once you're an addict, you're always an addict. The craving never truly goes away and as soon as you give into it, you'll be right back where you started. You'll always have to be careful not to fall into the trap again. I can't say that I always heeded my own advice, but at least I managed to get clean each time before I got too far gone."

"Wow, Skips. I never knew." Mordecai said.

"No one knows that about me until they have a need to know. I would appreciate it if it remained that way."

"Sure thing." Mordecai promised. They drove the rest of the way home in silence.

They arrived at the park house to find everything business as usual. Muscle Man and High Fives were off planting trees in the back of the park, Pops was tending to the flower beds and Benson was in his office. Mordecai began to climb the stairs to his bedroom. His injured wing was throbbing, he felt sick and he wanted to be alone to work through the scorching desire he had for another hit.

"Mordecai, I need to see you in my office." Benson's voice called from the base of the stairs.

Mordecai nervously started back down. This was the first time he had spoken with his boss since they found him in the woods after the accident. He silently followed Benson back to his office and watched as the gumball machine shut the door behind them. Benson then took a seat behind his desk and simply stared at him for a few seconds with a strange look of anger mixed with sorrow.

"Mordecai, you need to get your stuff and go." Benson said point blankly.

"What?" The blue jay sounded confused. That was the last thing he'd expected to hear.

"I said you need to go. You're fired, Mordecai."

"WHAT?" Mordecai repeated, eyes widening in alarm. Benson was always saying he was going to fire him for one thing or another, but he knew that this time was no empty threat.

"Park Policy states that anyone caught doing illegal drugs must be immediately terminated. And the drugs are just the half of it. You completely destroyed the cart, which is park property. Mr. Maellard is outraged that we have to buy new one! Not to mention that you seriously injured and endangered the life of another park employee. You're fired, Mordecai! Now get out!" Benson quickly averted his eyes with a pang of guilt. He didn't like doing this to Mordecai, but he had no choice.

"Benson, please!"

"No! I don't want to hear your excuses. You nearly killed your friend, Mordecai! We can't have that kind of thing happening around here because you feel like getting high!" Benson shouted. He met Mordecai's eyes once more, but immediately regretted it when he saw the tortured look in them.

"You're right, Benson Everything you just said is true. I have been seriously screwed up and made some really stupid decisions. I did almost kill my best friend. We're still don't even know if he's going to be okay. I'm so sorry for _everything_. You _have_ to believe that. The last thing I ever wanted was to wreck the cart and hurt Rigby. I would give anything to take it all back." Mordecai's voice briefly wavered with emotion. "Please just give me one more chance though. I'm going to get clean. You guys and this job are all I have!"

Benson's features softened with empathy. He felt for Mordecai, but there was nothing that he could do to help him. "I'm sorry, Mordecai, but it's out of my hands. If Mr. Maellard found out that I let you stay after all that's happened, he would fire _me_."

"Where am I supposed to go?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry. Maybe if you can get clean for a few months we can talk about giving you your job back again.

"Okay." Mordecai slumped his shoulders in defeat and turned to leave the office. "Sorry about everything, Benson. I really am."

"Me too." Benson picked up a cell phone from his desk. "Here's your phone. We found it in the woods by the cart." He handed it to the blue jay. "Please take care of yourself and get some help, Mordecai."

Mordecai didn't respond, but simply took the phone and let himself out of the office, shutting the door behind him. He climbed the stairs to his room and sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, wondering what he was going to do. He had nowhere to go. '_Maybe I can stay at Jessica's place for a while_,' he thought, but deep down he knew that would be a mistake. Being around her and her friends would only further his dependence on the drugs that he desperately needed to be free from.

Mordecai plugged the dead cell phone into the charger on the nightstand and turned it on. The phone began to beep wildly, showing that he had several missed texts from Jessica over the past two days

"Coming Over?...Where r u?…. The party has started!...everything ok?...Missed u last night… Coming 2nite?" Mordecai read all the messages. He didn't respond to any of them. Instead, he dialed her number.

"Hey Mordecai. Where have you been?" Jessica's concerned voice came through the phone line.

"Hey, Jessica. We need to talk. Some really serious stuff happened yesterday. I don't think I'll be coming over anymore. "

"Why, what's going on?" Jessica sounded confused.

"I've been in the hospital. I got into an accident while I was high. My best friend is in a coma because of it. My boss found out about the drugs because they did a blood test on me in the hospital. Now I'm out of a job."

"Oh man, I'm really sorry to hear that. That's harsh. "Jessica said genuinely. "But why aren't you coming over anymore? Do you need a place to stay until you find a new job?"

"I do and I appreciate the offer, but I can't stay with you, Jessica. I can't see you anymore. I have to get my life straight and that won't happen as long as I'm hanging out with you."

There was a long pause on the other end of the line as Jessica seemed to consider what he'd told her. "Wow, _really_? So somehow it's all _my_ fault that your life is fucked up now?" She finally spoke, her voice dripping with anger.

"No! That's not what I meant! I did this to myself, but I know I won't stop using as long as I'm around you guys. This shit has ruined my life… You should stop using too before the same thing happens to you."

"Thanks for the advice, _mom_, but I don't need you telling me what I should do." Jessica spat, then hung up the phone.

Mordecai sighed. He didn't intend for things to end badly with her. He was only trying to help, but he knew that he would have had the same reaction if someone had confronted him that way a few days ago. He was just as guilty of not being able to see the problem until it was too late. He wished they could remain friends, but their entire relationship revolved around drugs so he had to cut all ties with her if he intended to get clean.

Suddenly, he started to panic as the realization set in that he had cut off his drug supply when he told Jessica goodbye. The abrupt knowledge that he couldn't easily get more drugs caused his heart to race. His hands started to shake and he broke out in a cold sweat. He lay down on the bed, breathing heavily, and waited for the feeling to pass. "_You don't need it…look where's it's got you_..." he tried to talk himself down. After several minutes of wondering if he was having a heart attack, his pulse finally began to slow down to and the anxiety passed.

After he calmed down, Mordecai spent a few minutes thinking about the irony of the situation. On one hand he wanted nothing to do with the drugs, yet on the other hand the reality of not having access to them terrified him.

It seemed like he was moving through a dream sequence when he shakily rose from the bed. He grabbed a suitcase from the closet and started throwing his personal belongings in it. An intense wave of nausea hit him, a result of the withdrawals, and he had to stop and run to the bathroom where he got violently sick. He was weak with sweat dripping from his forehead when he was finally able to return to the bedroom to continue packing. He would have been happy to lie down in his bed and stay there until this hell was over, but he no longer had a bed that he could call his own to lie down in.

Mordecai opened the nightstand drawer to find three prepared syringes of heroin stored in the back under some papers. They were the last of his supply. "_Pour it down the drain_!" A voice inside His head ordered. He picked them up and rolled them around gently in his fingers, examining them with a look of longing in his eyes. "_But it would be so easy to feel good again…What else have you got to lose_?" He wrestled with his own thoughts. He squeezed his eyes shut and quickly pushed the idea out of his mind, fighting off the intense urge. However, he still couldn't bring himself to dispose of the syringes. He grabbed a shirt and thoughtfully wrapped it around the small vials to protect them, then carefully placed them in his bag.

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**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, everyone. I have to go back to classes in a couple of weeks and I'm hoping to finished this before then, or the updates will take way longer to come out. Don't worry, I won't rush it though. I don't think there's but 2-3 more chapters anyway, depending on how things go. I know the direction I want to go, but never really know what's gong to happen until I start writing it out. Anyway, let me know what you think. More soon! ~ Summer**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Mordecai finished packing his bag and sat on the bed in his soon-to-be former room. An intense sadness washed over him as he looked over at Rigby's trampoline, which was piled high with dirty laundry just as he'd left it. All the memories of the good times they'd shared in this house came flooding back. Now, in the blink of an eye, he was being forced to leave everything he knew.

With a sigh of regret, Mordecai left the bedroom and started down the stairs. The house was quiet and seemed empty, but as he headed toward the front door he heard voices coming from Benson's office. He listened intently and made them out to be Benson and Skips. When he heard Rigby's name mentioned he inched closer to the door with heightened curiosity.

"How is Rigby today?" Benson asked.

"No change overnight." Skips said grimly. "I just hope he's the same if and when he wakes up."

"What do you mean?" Benson asked.

Skips shrugged. "I don't know—I'm not a doctor. He hit his head pretty hard though. He could have some brain damage. I hope it's not the case, but it's something we might want to prepare for. I didn't mention it to Mordecai though. No need to worry him even more without knowing something for sure."

Benson shook his head with understanding. "Well, keep me updated."

Skips nodded. "Benson, I want to talk to you about Mordecai."

"There's nothing to talk about. Mordecai is no longer an employee here. He's been asked to leave." Benson replied, donning his park manager persona once more.

"You can't throw him out on the street, Benson! He'll only get worse!" Skips argued heatedly.

"It's out of my hands, Skips! Mr. Maellard wants him fired and off the property. He's an adult. He can take care of himself! It's not our problem." Benson retorted.

Mordecai had heard enough. He felt nauseous again at the mere possibility that Rigby may suffer from brain damage by his hand and he certainly didn't have any desire to relive the discussion with Benson from earlier. He quickly backed out of the hallway where he stood eavesdropping and left the house.

Unbeknownst to Mordecai, the conversation between Benson and Skips was beginning to turn in his favor. "Do you really only see him as just an employee? " Skips questioned admonishingly. When Benson failed to respond, he added "Stop acting like a damn supervisor for a minute and think about what you're saying. Mordecai may be a slacker when it comes to doing his job, but he would do anything for a friend. You're just going to turn your back on him now after he's been there for us? He needs help."

"I _know_ that, Skips! Of course I care. But I can't risk losing my job to cover for him! He needs to go check himself into rehab."

"You know he's not going to do that. He's convinced he can do this on his own, but he can't." Skips reasoned.

"What do you want me to do, Skips?" Benson asked with annoyance. He didn't appreciate Skips's guilt trip – especially since he knew the yeti was right.

"Look, he can stay with me. Give me a couple of months. I can help him get clean again."

There was a long pause as Benson considered Skip's request. "Okay. But I know nothing about this arrangement if anybody asks."

"Deal." Skips said, then promptly left the office. He climbed the steps to tell Mordecai the new development, but the bedroom stood empty when he got there. He sprinted down the steps and flung open the front door in an effort to catch up with him, but the blue jay was already gone.

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Mordecai stumbled out the front door, feeling shaky and ill. He had no idea where he was going, but he started down the dirt trail leading out of the park. Another wave of nausea soon hit him and he dropped his bag and doubled over behind some bushes to vomit again. He didn't know what was making him sicker—the detox or the emotional toll of everything that had happened over the past two days. Either way, he felt that death would be probably be a welcome relief at this point. When he felt well enough to continue, he stood up to see Muscle Man and High Fives coming down the path. He sighed with apprehension because he definitely did not want to deal with them right now.

"Hey, bro." Muscle Man called as they drew closer. "You don't look so good."

"I don't feel so good either." Mordecai wiped the perspiration off his brow.

"What the hell were you thinking, dude?" Muscle Man asked, skipping small talk and going straight to the heart of the matter.

"Just. Stop. Muscle Man." Mordecai face palmed with annoyance. "I seriously fucked up, okay? Can we just leave it at that? I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay bro, it's cool." Muscle Man shrugged. "What's with the bag?"

"Benson fired me and kicked me out."

"Harsh. He could have at least waited 'til your wing healed." Muscle Man motioned toward Mordecai's wing that was still bandaged from the hospital. "Talk about kicking a dude while he's down."

"I deserve it." Mordecai said miserably.

"So what are you gonna do, man?"

"I don't know, dude. I don't know…" Mordecai said distantly. "Can you loan me a few bucks?"

"Sure, bro." Muscle man took out his wallet and handed Mordecai a twenty dollar bill.

"How's Rigby today?" High Fives questioned.

"Same as yesterday. He's not doing too well." Suddenly, Mordecai felt his emotions welling up in the back of his throat with the mention of Rigby and didn't want to break down front of Muscle Man and Fives. "Look, I've gotta go. Maybe I'll see you guys around." He picked up his bag and began to walk off.

"Take care of yourself, bro." Muscle man said.

"Bye Mordecai." High Fives called.

Mordecai picked up his pace in an effort to distance himself from them as quickly as possible. He reached the gate and turned left toward the downtown section of the city. His mind raced with thoughts of what he was going to do and where he was going to go, but he kept drawing a blank. With no job and only twenty dollars in his pocket, he knew he wasn't going to get very far.

He considered calling his parents, whom he hadn't talked to in months. He had an okay relationship with them. It wasn't bad, but they weren't very close either. He knew his mom would do anything to help him out, but his dad wouldn't be so generous. His dad had always been the type that believed people had to live with their mistakes and figure things out on their own. He had been hard on Mordecai growing up and didn't mind showing his disappointment in his son when he messed up. That was the reason Mordecai left his hometown after making the choice to quit Art School and moved to the city with Rigby. He couldn't deal with his dad's constant belittlement of him over his decision. That, and the fact that his dad never really liked Rigby. He would always say that Mordecai had so much potential, but he let the raccoon's immaturity and laziness rub off on him and hold him back. He knew his dad loved him and only wanted the best, but thought he was a failure because he was merely a park groundskeeper instead of a college graduate. Calling him to tell him that he was now homeless and a drug addict would only confirm his father's opinion of him. Right now, it seemed that his dad was right.

Mordecai decided that there was no need to call his parents and ask for help because his dad would tell him to be a man and get himself out of this mess on his own. His mother wouldn't like doing nothing, but she would nevertheless go along with what her husband wanted. Then, he would have to hear the disappointment and heartbreak in their voices over what he'd done. Right now they were sweetly oblivious to any of it.

Deciding against his only real option left him with no other possibilities. Tomorrow, he would try to find a job. He didn't care what he had to do as long as it brought in some money. Right now, he needed rest. His wing was badly aching and he was feeling extremely unsteady and ill. He turned down a side street and went behind some buildings. He pressed his back to the brick wall and slid down to the ground, collapsing in anguish. Tears flowed freely as the realization sank in that he had nothing.

"You okay, kid?" A voice called from the shadows. Mordecai turned to see a man sitting by a dumpster surrounded by cardboard and plastic bags. He had a beard halfway down his chest and looked like he hadn't bathed in weeks. Mordecai hadn't noticed him there before. The man sipped from a bottle covered with a brown paper bag.

"I'm fine." Mordecai lied, wiping the tears off his cheeks.

"Doesn't look like it."

"I'm having a bad day, dude." Mordecai replied.

"I know what you mean. I've been having a bad day since 1997." The man said.

"What happened to you?" Mordecai asked.

"Lost my job 'cause I couldn't stop snorting coke. I had a wife and baby girl, but they left after I got fired. She said that I was a pathetic loser and I was letting the drugs control my life. I guess she was right. I haven't seen either of them since that day. The sad part is that I got off the drugs because no money buys nothing, you know? But I still don't have anything 'cause once you hit the bottom, it's hard to climb back up. I've just been living free, going from here to there ever since. Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose, you know?"

"Sorry, dude." Mordecai looked at the man and saw his future.

"It's not so bad – you get used to it. You look like a good kid though. I don't know your story, but you still have time to change it. Don't just accept whatever brought you to this alley like I did."

"Thanks." Mordecai muttered, then picked up his bag and walked off. Hearing the bum's story brought a fresh wave of tears to his eyes for he could easily see himself sitting next to that dumpster twenty years from now. He went around the corner to shed some more tears about the situation in private.

"Get it together" he finally told himself. He allowed himself a brief moment of self-pity, but now it was time to be strong again. He was determined heed the homeless man's advice and change his story. He was going get through this. He vowed to beat the odds and get back on his feet, regardless of how hopeless things looked at the moment. Besides, he needed to be there for Rigby. If Rigby was able he would be here for him. Together they would figure out a way to get through this as soon as Rigby got better.

The sun was starting to set and it looked as if a line of storms was moving in with the twilight. Mordecai could hear thunder off in the distance. He looked around for a possible shelter, but didn't see anything promising. With a sigh, he got up and turned back toward the direction of the park. The picnic shelters there would keep him out of the elements, despite his desire to avoid the place.

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	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Rigby opened his eyes. "_Where am I_?" He wondered as the stark white walls came into focus. Upon further inspection, he realized that he was in bed in a hospital room and he was connected to various types of equipment. He looked around only to find that he was alone in the room. He tried to move his arm, but it seemed paralyzed. He started to panic briefly, but then looked down and realized that it was in a cast. His head was throbbing so he reached up with his good hand and felt the bandages wrapped around it. He had a dull ache in his abdomen, which was also bandaged. "What the hell happened?" He muttered aloud.

He tried to remember. '_Something about the cart'_…then, it all started coming back. He and Mordecai had been going down the Hill in the cart, but it had gone terribly wrong. He recalled the cart swerving off the path, but nothing after that. "_Where's Mordecai?__I hope he's alright!_" Rigby's thoughts were interrupted when a nurse entered the room.

"You're awake! This is wonderful!" The nurse exclaimed. "Let me go call the doctor." She was gone just as quickly as she had entered.

Minutes later, Rigby was surrounded by people poking at him, taking his vitals and shining lights in his eyes. "Where's Mordecai?" Rigby inquired several times, but received no answer. When the chaos died down, the doctor began to ask a series of questions that Rigby found odd.

"Do you know your name?" The young doctor asked. He was an oriole in his mid-thirties and his badge identified him as Dr. Brown.

"Of course I know my name! It's Rigby."

"Do you know where you work?"

"At the park. With Mordecai. Do you know where Mordecai is?" Rigby questioned, growing impatient that no one was answering his question.

"There will be time for questions in just a minute." Dr. Brown promised. "Can you tell us your birthdate?"

"November 14, 1991. Why are you asking me these stupid questions? Of course I know all this stuff!" Rigby exclaimed.

"We're just trying to determine if you're suffering from any memory loss or brain damage from the concussion. Please be patient."

"Concussion? What the hell happened to me?" Rigby pressed.

"Do you know what year it is now?"

Rigby sighed. "2014."

"What's four plus six?"

"Ten. Come on, man. How many more questions are there? I feel like crap and you want me to do math?" Rigby asked irritably.

"I think that will do for now. Everything looks good. Your memory and reasoning seem to be fine. You're lucky—that was a pretty serious hit you took to your head. You've been in a coma for two days. We're quite surprised that you came out of it so soon."

"Do you know what happened? I was in the cart and it went off the path, but that's all I remember."

"You apparently were thrown from a golf cart and collided with a tree."

"My friend Mordecai was in the accident too. Do you know where he is?" Rigby asked.

"The blue jay? He went home this morning." Doctor Brown replied.

"Is he okay?"

"I don't know the extent of his injuries. I'm sure he's fine if he's already been discharged."

Rigby was satisfied with that answer. He turned his attention back to finding out what happened. "Why is my stomach so sore if I hit my head?"

"We had do emergency surgery to repair some internal bleeding in your abdomen. Like I said, you're extremely lucky to be doing as well as you are right now. You took a serious hit."

"So how long am I going to have to stay here?" Rigby wondered.

"As long as you continue to do well, you'll probably be sent home in a day or two. It's going to be awhile before you're back to normal activities though." Doctor Brown explained.

"I need to use the phone. I need to call Mordecai and my boss, Benson, to let them know I'm okay." Rigby said.

"You just need to take it easy. We'll call whoever you want us to call. Just write their numbers on here." Doctor Brown passed Rigby his clipboard and waited for Rigby to write down the numbers. "Don't worry about it; we'll take care of it." The doctor then took his clipboard from Rigby and exited the room.

About fifteen minutes passed before a nurse returned to inform Rigby that Benson was on his way, but they were unable to get an answer on Mordecai's phone because it kept going straight to voicemail. "Okay, thanks." Rigby said disappointedly.

"Not a problem." The nurse replied, then left the room, leaving Rigby alone once more.

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About an hour later, Rigby was awoke from a light sleep to find Benson, Skips and Pops in his room. He blinked groggily as his eyes adjusted to the light. "Hi guys," he said, followed by a yawn.

"How are you feeling?" Benson asked.

"Like crap. Everything hurts." Rigby complained.

"We're glad you came out of the coma so soon. The doctor said that everything looks good for a full recovery. We were worried about you." Skips said.

"Good show! You'll be back to your old self in no time! " Pops exclaimed.

"Thanks. Where is everybody?" Rigby scanned the room looking for the remainder of the park employees.

"Oh, Muscle Man and Fives said they will try to visit later tonight. We had some bad storms move through and I sent them out to do a scan on the park to make sure nothing got damaged."

"What about Mordecai? When is he coming?" Rigby asked.

Skips and Benson exchanged an apprehensive glance with one another. "We need to talk to you about Mordecai."

"Have you noticed that Mordecai has been acting a little strange lately?" Skips asked.

"Yeah, why? Rigby said. "I asked him what his problem was and he said he was still down about Margaret leaving."

"That may have started it, but it there was more to it than that. When they brought you guys to the hospital after the crash, then did a blood test on Mordecai." Skips explained.

"And?" Rigby pressed.

"They found marijuana and heroin in his system." Skips revealed.

"What?" Rigby stared at them with wide eyes as he processed what he'd just heard.

"He crashed the cart because he was high. He's apparently been doing this for about a month." Benson interjected.

"I guess that explains a lot of things. Muscle Man said he was on drugs, but I didn't want to believe it. Where is he now?"

"We don't know. I had to fire him and ask him to leave the house." Benson muttered quietly, avoiding Rigby's eyes.

"You kicked him out?" Rigby exclaimed.

"I had no choice, Rigby! It was me or him according to Mr. Maellard."

"Yes, unfortunately father can be bit unreasonable sometimes." Pops said.

"Oh man." Rigby rubbed his forehead. All this was making his head hurt even worse.

"I was going to let him stay with me, but he left before I had the chance to tell him. He's not answering his phone either." Skips said.

"Oh man. Shouldn't we make him go get some help or something?" Rigby asked.

"He refused to go to rehab. We can't make him do anything." Benson explained.

"Maybe he would listen to me." Rigby hoped.

"I'm sure he'll come here to visit you sooner or later." Skips guessed. "He was really broken up over getting you hurt."

"I hope he doesn't do anything stupid." Rigby said.

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	16. Chapter 16

A/N: I've decided to change the rating to M on this because I got a bit descriptive with the last few paragraphs in this chapter. That along with the subject matter in general probably warrants an M rating.

Chapter 16

Mordecai arrived at the picnic area of the park just before the sky broke with a loud crash of thunder. The rain started coming down in sheets all around him. The shelter provided cover for the worst of it, but he was still getting wet from leaks in the roof and rain blowing with gusts of wind. He regretted that he and Rigby had blown it off when Benson asked them to patch the cracks in the roof of the shelter several months ago. The storms were ushering in a cold front. He felt chilled as the temperature began to drop so he dug in his bag and took out a sweatshirt. His phone began to ring as he was pulling it over his head.

Mordecai looked at the phone and saw that is was the last person he expected to be calling him. Margaret. "Hello?" He answered shakily.

"Hey Mordecai! How are you?" Margaret's voice came over the line.

"I'm okay." Mordecai lied. "How are you doing, Margaret?"

"Great! I love it here. Everybody is so nice. I've made a lot of friends. I really like my classes too." Margaret gushed.

"That's awesome. I'm glad you're so happy."

"Thanks." Margaret replied. "It was the best decision to come here. It was really hard to leave everyone, but this place is amazing!''

"Sounds like it."

"So what's going on with you?" Margaret asked.

"Oh, you know...same old, same old." Mordecai had no intention of telling her everything that had happened since she had left. "Just working and hanging out."

"That's good. How's Rigby?"

"Uh…Rigby's fine. " Mordecai paused apprehensively. He wondered if she had somehow heard what happened. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason, just wondering." Margaret said. "You're acting kind of strange Mordecai, is everything okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're not really talking, just giving me short answers to everything." Margaret pointed out.

"Sorry, I guess I don't have much to talk about."

"It sounds like you're outside in the rain."

"Yeah, it's a pretty bad storm going on right now." Mordecai said.

"Why don't you go in?"

"I can't."

"Why?" Margaret asked.

"Um, the storm came up quickly and I got stuck out by the picnic shelter. I'm just waiting for the rain to stop so I can go back to the house." Mordecai partially lied.

"Oh."

"I'm glad you like it so much there." Mordecai said again, not really knowing what else to say.

"Thanks."

"Do you have someone special yet?" Mordecai wondered. He dreaded hearing the truth, but he had to know.

"Well, since you asked, I have been off a few times with this one guy. He's a junior majoring in Biochemistry."

"That's great, Margaret!" Mordecai tried to sound upbeat even though his heart was breaking all over again. "Wow, Biochemistry, huh?"

"What about you?"

"Me? No. There was a girl named Jessica that I was hanging out with, but she was just a friend. I never liked her that way."

"What do you mean 'was'? Did she go somewhere?" Margaret wondered.

"No, it's a long story and I don't want to bore you with it." Mordecai was sorry that he'd brought the subject up.

"That's okay, I don't mind hearing it." Margaret pressed.

"I guess I never liked her that way because the truth is, Margaret, I still love you." Mordecai avoided the subject.

"Mordecai, we agreed to move on." Margaret sighed. "Please don't sit around and wait for me."

"I can't change how I feel. It's okay though. I found ways to deal with it." Mordecai said distantly.

"You sound really strange. " Margaret mentioned again. "Are you _sure_ you're okay?"

"I'm fine! Great! Just a little tired."

"Oh. Like I told you before, I really like you too, but right now it's best we just be friends. Maybe we'll be together again someday, just not right now." Margaret explained once more.

"It's okay Margaret. I get it. Don't worry about me."

"Well I'll probably come home around Christmas and I'd love to see you and catch up." Margaret changed the subject.

"Sure." Mordecai replied, even though Christmas was still months away and he had no idea where he'd be or what he'd be doing by then.

"I've gotta go. I'm going out with some of my friends in a little while. Take care, Mordecai. I'll talk to you again soon."

"Thanks, you too. Bye." Mordecai responded. He waited for her goodbye, then hung up.

The phone stated to ring again almost immediately, startling him. This time he did not recognize the number. He slid his thumb across the screen to answer it, but the phone beeped in protest signaling that the last of his battery was dying. The screen went blank as the machine shut itself down.

Mordecai sat on the picnic table and stared at dead phone in his hand as the rain poured down around him. He couldn't help but notice that the weather was eerily like it was last time he had spoken to Margaret. His fears were confirmed and she had found a college guy to sweep her off her feet. She could tell him how much she cared about him all day long, but he knew he would never be enough for her again. '_Why would she ever want me when she can have someone educated that will probably be making a load of money one day?'_ he thought.

It was too much for him to bear alone. Rigby, Margaret, getting fired, nowhere to go, his injuries, the sickness, the relentless cravings – it was all starting to snowball and take its toll on his ability to stay rational. He reached in his bag and pulled out the shirt that he had wrapped up the syringes of heroin in. He unrolled them and laid them out on the picnic table.

Speaking to Margaret and learning of her new love interest was the straw that ultimately broke Mordecai. He felt that he had to have something to ease the torment, or he would lose his mind. He decided that tomorrow was a new day and he would start over fresh, but right now he desperately needed an escape. With shaking fingers, he screwed a hypodermic needle on the end of one of the syringes. He rolled back his sleeve and the bandages that covered his injured wing then plunged in the needle, watching as the clear brownish liquid disappeared from the tube with pressure of his thumb. He winced at the familiar burning in his vein, then closed his eyes and sighed with ecstasy as he immediately started to feel the first of its effects.

Mordecai sat with his back against the picnic table for a while and allowed himself to become lost in the high. Although the euphoria made him feel amazing, images of Rigby lying in the hospital unconscious and Margaret kissing some other guy still kept creeping into his mind. He felt he needed more. Despite his better judgment, he screwed the needle onto a second syringe and took another hit. He was sure he could handle it. The rush that came with it made him feel like he was floating. His pounding heartbeat was like a drum in his ears. Then, just as quickly as the rush came, it was gone. He began to feel extremely sleepy so he laid his head down on the table. His breathing slowed and he started to drift dreamily in an out of consciousness. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he felt that something was wrong, but he was too stoned to care. He closed his eyes and lost consciousness once more.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone. I appreciate you letting me know what you think. Next chapter will probably be up in a couple of days.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"This really blows that we have to do all this extra work with Mordecai and Rigby being gone." Muscle Man complained as he walked through the park in the darkness with Fives hovering beside him. Benson had asked them to check for damage from the storm.

"Yeah. At least Rigby's awake now though. Maybe he'll be back soon." Fives said.

"Yeah, but he'll probably just sit around on his butt playing video games all day and say he can't do anything because he's _recovering_. You know what a slacker he is, bro."

"Probably."

"What blows even more is that we don't have the cart cause Mordecai wrecked it." Muscle Man grumbled.

"Yeah. Hopefully the new one will get here this week." Fives agreed.

"Everything looks good to me. Let's go back, dude. It's getting cold out here." Muscle Man turned around and began walking toward the house.

"Wait, we didn't check the picnic area." Fives stated.

"So what, bro? I'm sure it's fine. Benson won't even know we didn't check it."

"But what if it's not fine and we didn't tell him? He'll know then and he'll think we're slackers too. You _know_ Mordecai and Rigby totally blew it off when they were supposed to do the repairs awhile back." Fives reminded him.

"Hey, you know who else likes to blow things off?" Muscle Man asked. "My MOM!" The two friends exchanged a high five and laughed hysterically for a moment, despite the lack of humor in the joke.

"Come on, let's get this over with." Muscle Man groaned. "I've got a date with Starla and I don't want to keep my love muffin waiting."

The two walked for a few minutes in silence as they made their way to the picnic area of the park. Muscle Man shined his flashlight over the structures looking for anything that was amiss. "What the hell is that, bro?" He asked, squinting into the darkness as his flashlight passed over a figure at one of the tables.

"Looks like someone's sitting there. Let's get closer." Fives suggested. As the two neared the table, it became apparent that he was right.

"It's Mordecai." Muscle Man said quietly. He observed at the blue jay's lifeless form with his head down on the table and immediately sensed that something was not right. His fears were confirmed as they approached the table and saw the empty syringes scattered around. "Oh man. This isn't good, bro."

"Is he…?" Fives started, fearing the worst, but unable to complete his question.

"I don't know dude!" Muscle Man cried as panic began to set in.

"Well check his pulse or something!" Fives exclaimed, beginning to freak out as well.

"Mordecai! Get up, bro!" Muscle Man yelled, shaking the blue jay's shoulder forcefully. When he received no response, he hesitantly reached down and pressed his fingers to Mordecai's throat, looking for any signs of life. "I feel a pulse, but it's barely there." Muscle Man stated.

"We need to go get Benson!" Fives responded.

"Everybody went to the hospital to see Rigby, remember?" Muscle Man reminded him.

"Oh man, what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?" Fives muttered repeatedly as he flew around in circles, becoming more distressed by the minute.

"Fives! Chill out bro! I can't even think!" Muscle man shouted, throwing his arms in the air.

"Okay, okay!" Fives took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm chilled." He said, though he continued to fly around anxiously.

"I guess we need to take him back to the house and call an ambulance."

"Do you think we should move the body?" Fives asked.

"He's not dead, bro!" Muscle Man flipped Mordecai over and grabbed him around the waist, slinging him over his shoulder. "Damn, he's a lot heavier than he looks. Are you gonna help me, or what?"

"Sorry." Fives muttered. He swooped down and grabbed Mordecai's feet, taking some of the weight from Muscle Man.

They slowly made their way back to the house, working together to carry the lifeless blue jay. Upon arriving, Muscle Man laid Mordecai on the couch and proceeded to dial 911.

"Do you think he's gonna be okay?" Fives asked as they sat in the living room and waited for the ambulance to arrive.

"I don't know, dude. I hope so." Muscle Man said somberly.

They were startled when the front door opened and Benson, Skips and Pops walked into the house, returning from the hospital. They stopped in their tracks as they entered the living room and immediately noticed Mordecai unconscious on the couch.

"What happened?" Benson exclaimed, a look of serious concern on his face. "Is he hurt?"

"He overdosed. We found him unconscious at one of the picnic tables with syringes everywhere. I already called the ambulance." Muscle Man muttered.

"I had a feeling something like this was going to happen if we left him on his own." Skips shook his head regretfully. He knelt by Mordecai's side and picked up his wing, feeling for a pulse.

"I don't need a fucking guilt trip right now, Skips! You know I didn't want to kick him out." Benson shouted, already feeling terrible about the situation.

Skips dropped Mordecai's wing and slowly looked up at everyone with a haunted expression.

"What's wrong?" Benson demanded.

The silence was deafening as everyone waited with bated breath for Skips to say something. "We're too late. He's gone."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Rigby adjusted his tie as he walked alone toward the cemetery in the back of the park. The sky was appropriately overcast and with a light mist in the air. He had to stop and rest twice because having only been home from the hospital for two days, he was still very weak and sore. He stopped a third time because the tears wouldn't stop falling from his eyes, despite his best efforts to hold them back.

He recalled Benson coming into his hospital room at 1:00 a.m. four days previously and shaking his shoulder to wake him. Normally the hospital visiting hours would have long been over, but they must have made an exception due to the dire nature of the request.

"Huh? What's going on?" Rigby demanded, still half asleep.

"Rigby, wake up. There's something I have to tell you." Benson said urgently.

Rigby opened his eyes and immediately noticed the look of anxiety on his boss's face. The gumball machine appeared shaky and visibly distraught, which was not his usual nature whatsoever. "W-What is it?" he asked with hesitation, instantly sensing that something terrible had happened.

"It's Mordecai." Benson paused apprehensively. " He OD'd sometime this evening. By the time we found him, it was too late to save him. I'm so sorry, Rigby."

"No…" Was the only word Rigby could muster, shaking his head in disbelief. His eyes instantly welled up with tears as it registered that he would never hang out with his best bro again...

The memory drew to a close as he slowly made his way toward the cemetery. He knew that when he arrived, everyone would already be there. He had purposely waited for them all to leave because he didn't want any company. He had repeatedly refused everyone's offers to walk with him or drive him there because they were all worried his about injuries as well as his emotional state. Rigby just wanted to be alone. He was still having a difficult time processing if this was even real. He hoped that he was still in the hospital bed in a coma having a horrible nightmare that he would soon awake from, but he was realistic enough to know that was not the case.

As he made the journey through the park, Rigby felt abandoned and alone. Mordecai had been his best friend, and only real friend, since they were toddlers. They had been nearly inseparable for the last twenty years. They may as well have been brothers for he was a lot closer with Mordecai than he was with his own biological brother. The hopelessness then turned into anger as he thought about how _stupid_ Mordecai had been for even trying a drug that he _knew_ was highly addictive and he _knew_ could ruin his life and _kill_ him.

The rage began to shift inward as he thought of all the very obvious signs of Mordecai's drug use that he had missed. In hindsight they seemed crystal clear. If he had confronted Mordecai directly about the drugs when he first suspected something was wrong, maybe he could have convinced him to get help before this happened. He felt like he had let his best friend down by not being more proactive in finding out what was wrong with him.

When he approached the cemetery there was a small crowd of people gathered there. Rigby saw Mordecai's parents sitting in the front row of chairs that had been set up. His mother's head rested upon his father's shoulder as she cried, clutching her husband tight. She was obviously devastated over losing her only child. His father looked distraught also, but he managed to keep his emotions in check. It was always about image with him. Rigby knew Mordecai's father didn't really like him and wouldn't be surprised if the older blue jay somehow blamed _him_ for this. Nevertheless, he felt a lot of sympathy for both of them right now.

He looked around and spotted the park employees gathered in a small circle off to the side. He made his way toward them when something red caught his eye amongst all the black and gray. Sitting two rows back was his friend Eileen from the coffee shop and _Margaret_. Rigby narrowed his eyes and stared at the back of her head with a look of pure hatred. He wanted to choke the life out of her with his bare hands. She had obviously caught word of Mordecai's death, probably by way of Eileen, and flown back from college to attend the funeral. '_She has a lot of fucking nerve coming here_.' Rigby thought as his eyes burned into her back. He thought about confronting her, playing the scenario out in his mind...

"How are you holding up, Rigby?" Margaret would ask.

"Fine." Would be his response.

"I can't believe Mordecai's gone. I just talked to him a few days ago. "

"This is all your fucking fault, you know!" Rigby would accuse her.

"What are you talking about?"

"He did this because you left and broke his heart like it was _nothing_. You caused this, you selfish bitch! You _killed_ him!"

Rigby snapped out of the daydream when he felt a hand rest upon his shoulder. "You okay, Rigby?" Benson asked.

"I'm fine, Benson. I was just thinking."

Benson followed Rigby's gaze and immediately knew what he had on his mind. "It's not her fault, Rigby. You can't blame her for this."

"She caused this." Rigby muttered through gritted teeth.

"No, she didn't, Rigby. Mordecai ultimately made his own choices and became his own undoing. She had nothing to do with that. I know you want to blame someone - it's a natural thing to do. It's not fair to put this on her though."

Rigby shrugged. "I guess."

"Come on, let's go sit down. The service is about to start." Benson encouraged.

Rigby reluctantly followed him and they made their way to a row of chairs and sat beside Muscle Man, Skips and Pops. Fives declined to attend the funeral because he didn't deal with these types of things very well. He promised to pay his respects after the event was over.

Throughout much of the service, Rigby sat in a daze and stared up at the sky. He wasn't really paying attention to what was being said – it all came through as background noise. His mind was occupied with memories spanning back two decades.

When all was said and done, everyone rose to chatter amongst themselves and offer condolences for a moment before parting ways. Rigby stayed in his seat and stared down at his hands.

"You coming, Rigby?" Skips asked with concern. "We're heading back to the house now if you want to come with us."

"No, I think I just want to hang out here for a while. " Rigby said solemnly.

"Okay. Call us if you need us." Skips replied.

"I will." Rigby sat and waited for the crowd to thin until the last few stragglers finally departed.

When he was finally alone he approached Mordecai's gravesite and reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a video game cartridge, _Double Dragon_, and laid it upon the grave amongst the all the flowers. "He you go, man. I know it was one of your favorites." Rigby wiped a few tears from his eyes. "Why did you have to do something so damn stupid? I wish you had told me what was going so I could have helped you. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. I'm really going to miss you, bro." His voice cracked with emotion. He stood there and stared at the grave for a few more minutes before turning to begin his lonely trek back to the house. When he lifted his head, he was surprised to see a familiar figure walking toward the cemetery alone.

"Hi Rigby. I'm so sorry about Mordecai. How are _you_ doing?" Eileen asked as she approached.

"I'm not doing too well right now, but I'll be okay." Rigby wiped a few more tears from his face. "Where's Margaret?"

"I told her to go on without me. I wanted to wait for you. She's really devastated about this. She keeps saying that it's her fault and that he started doing drugs because she left."

"I'm going to be honest with you, Eileen. That had _a lot_ to do with it." Rigby stated, but remembered Benson's words from earlier. "I guess Mordecai made the choice to do what he did on his own though. He knew how deep he was getting, but was too damn stubborn to admit he needed help." He knew ultimately Benson was right and it would be wrong to make Margaret feel worse about something she had no control over, despite his need to lay blame on someone.

"I know." Eileen replied softly.

"Why were you waiting for me?" Rigby wondered.

"I know how hard this must be for you and I didn't want you to deal with it alone. I thought you would need a friend right now. Do you want to go get a cup of coffee and talk about it?" Eileen asked.

Rigby didn't really want company, but he knew it wasn't going to make him feel any better to sit around alone either. He figured that maybe being with a friend who wasn't associated with the park might help. "Okay."

"Good." Eileen said. She gave him a brief, understanding smile. She then took his hand and led him away from the park and the memories that haunted him there.

_The End_

_XXXXXXXXXXXX_

**A/N: Well, I'm sure a lot of you are not very happy that I killed Mordecai, but let me explain. I went back and forth between killing him off, or not, for over a week. I came to the conclusion that an ending where Rigby is okay, Mordecai gets miraculously cured and everyone lives happily ever after would be too predictable and cliché even though that's what we all want for our favorite blue jay and raccoon. So I tried to come up a scenario that was unexpected and more realistic. I also felt it would make for a nice twist that most of the story it seemed that Rigby wasn't going to make it, then it ends up being Mordecai. So don't be too mad at me. I do love Mordecai even though I put him through hell! :) **

**Anyway, in the process of going back and forth on whether to kill him or not, I came up with two different endings, like I said, so I can post the _alternate ending_ (it's not really 'happily ever after,' but it is happier than the one I used) if anyone is interested. So let me know. **

**I hope you had as much fun reading this story as I did writing it. I would love to write something else Regular Show, but I am fresh out of ideas at the moment. If you have any suggestions, feel free to send them my way in a pm and maybe I will make it happen _if I feel like it's something I can work with_. I mostly like angsty type stuff and don't too well with fluff. I'm not promising anything because I'm back at school now and don't have as much time, but I'd love to hear some ideas. **

**Thanks for reading and a BIG THANK YOU to all who reviewed. You guys rock! Reviewers are a big inspiration for an author. So take a few seconds to review a story when you read it and let the author know how they're doing. **

**Until next time! **

** -Summer **


	19. Alternate Ending

**A/N****: Here is the alternate ending I was telling you guys about and some of you requested that I post it. It starts with Chapter 17, which is exactly the same until the very end. So if you don't feel like reading Chapter 17 again, just skip ahead. This would have normally been about three separate chapters if I had used it, but since the story is officially over I'm just going go ahead and post it all. Enjoy! **

**Alternate Ending**

"This really blows that we have to do all this extra work with Mordecai and Rigby being gone." Muscle Man complained as he walked through the park in the darkness with Fives hovering beside him. Benson had asked them to check for damage from the storm.

"Yeah. At least Rigby's awake now though. Maybe he'll be back soon." Fives said.

"Yeah, but he'll probably just sit around on his butt playing video games all day and say he can't do anything because he's _recovering_. You know what a slacker he is, bro."

"Probably."

"What blows even more is that we don't have the cart cause Mordecai wrecked it." Muscle Man grumbled.

"Yeah. Hopefully the new one will get here this week." Fives agreed.

"Everything looks good to me. Let's go back, dude. It's getting cold out here." Muscle Man turned around and began walking toward the house.

"Wait, we didn't check the picnic area." Fives stated.

"So what, bro? I'm sure it's fine. Benson won't even know we didn't check it."

"But what if it's not fine and we didn't tell him? He'll know then and he'll think we're slackers too. You _know_ Mordecai and Rigby totally blew it off when they were supposed to do the repairs awhile back." Fives reminded him.

"Hey, you know who else likes to blow things off?" Muscle Man asked. "My MOM!" The two friends exchanged a high five and laughed hysterically for a moment, despite the lack of humor in the joke.

"Come on, let's get this over with." Muscle Man groaned. "I've got a date with Starla and I don't want to keep my love muffin waiting."

The two walked for a few minutes in silence as they made their way to the picnic area of the park. Muscle Man shined his flashlight over the structures looking for anything that was amiss. "What the hell is that, bro?" He asked, squinting into the darkness as his flashlight passed over a figure at one of the tables.

"Looks like someone's sitting there. Let's get closer." Fives suggested. As the two neared the table, it became apparent that he was right.

"It's Mordecai." Muscle Man said quietly. He observed at the blue jay's lifeless form with his head down on the table and immediately sensed that something was not right. His fears were confirmed as they approached the table and saw the empty syringes scattered around. "Oh man. This isn't good, bro."

"Is he…?" Fives started, fearing the worst, but unable to complete his question.

"I don't know dude!" Muscle Man cried as panic began to set in.

"Well check his pulse or something!" Fives exclaimed, beginning to freak out as well.

"Mordecai! Get up, bro!" Muscle Man yelled, shaking the blue jay's shoulder forcefully. When he received no response, he hesitantly reached down and pressed his fingers to Mordecai's throat, looking for any signs of life. "I feel a pulse, but it's barely there." Muscle Man stated.

"We need to go get Benson!" Fives responded.

"Everybody went to the hospital to see Rigby, remember?" Muscle Man reminded him.

"Oh man, what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?" Fives muttered repeatedly as he flew around in circles, becoming more distressed by the minute.

"Fives! Chill out bro! I can't even think!" Muscle man shouted, throwing his arms in the air.

"Okay, okay!" Fives took a deep breath. "Okay, I'm chilled." He said, though he continued to fly around anxiously.

"I guess we need to take him back to the house and call an ambulance."

"Do you think we should move the body?" Fives asked.

"He's not dead, bro!" Muscle Man flipped Mordecai over and grabbed him around the waist, slinging him over his shoulder. "Damn, he's a lot heavier than he looks. Are you gonna help me, or what?"

"Sorry." Fives muttered. He swooped down and grabbed Mordecai's feet, taking some of the weight from Muscle Man.

They slowly made their way back to the house, working together to carry the lifeless blue jay. Upon arriving, Muscle Man laid Mordecai on the couch and proceeded to dial 911.

"Do you think he's gonna be okay?" Fives asked as they sat in the living room and waited for the ambulance to arrive.

"I don't know, dude. I hope so." Muscle Man said somberly.

They were startled when the front door opened and Benson, Skips and Pops walked into the house, returning from the hospital. They stopped in their tracks as they entered the living room and immediately noticed Mordecai unconscious on the couch.

"What happened?" Benson exclaimed, a look of serious concern on his face. "Is he hurt?"

"He overdosed. We found him unconscious at one of the picnic tables with syringes everywhere. I already called the ambulance." Muscle Man muttered.

"I had a feeling something like this was going to happen if we left him on his own." Skips shook his head regretfully. He knelt by Mordecai's side and picked up his wing, feeling for a pulse.

"I don't need a fucking guilt trip right now, Skips! You know I didn't want to kick him out." Benson shouted, already feeling terrible about the situation.

Skips dropped Mordecai's wing. "I hope they get here soon. I don't think he has much longer."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

At the hospital, the park employees sat anxiously in the waiting room to hear from the doctors about Mordecai's status. Shortly after arriving, Benson left to go to another wing of the hospital to tell Rigby what had happened.

The raccoon was still awake and looked up in surprise when Benson entered the room. "Hey Benson. What are you doing back?"

"Rigby, I have something to tell you...it's about Mordecai." The gumball machine looked very distraught and worried.

"W-What is it?" Rigby asked hesitantly, fearing that something terrible had happened.

"He OD'd sometime this evening. Muscle Man and Fives found him unconscious at one of the picnic tables. " Benson explained somberly.

"Is he..." Rigby felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach and paused briefly to catch his breath. "Is he going to be okay?"

"We don't know yet. He's in the ER now and we're still waiting to hear something. He was alive when they brought him in." Benson said.

Rigby shook his head in disbelief. "He's _got_ to be okay." The raccoon murmured quietly. He placed his head in his hands and looked as if he might break down any second.

"I hope so, Rigby. Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah. I-I'll be fine. Just keep me updated." Rigby said shakily, though his face told the real story on what he was feeling.

"I'm going to go see what's going on. I'll let you know something soon." Benson promised then exited the room.

Rigby's eyes burned with tears that threated to fall any second, but he was initially too angry to allow himself to cry. "_Damnit Mordecai! __How could you be so fucking stupid_?" he wanted to scream at his friend. On the other hand, he was physically sick from the possibility that he may never have that opportunity. The first of many fat teardrops rolled down his cheek as he silently asked a higher power to spare his friend's life, despite his own self destruction.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

In the Emergency Room, Benson arrived just in time to catch the doctor as he was describing the situation to everyone.

"We gave him a dose of _Narcan_ to counteract the heroin. The effects are fast acting and his vitals are starting to improve. Fortunately, we got to him before he experienced complete respiratory failure. He's starting to wake up now, but he's still very groggy." The doctor explained.

"So he's going to be okay?" Benson asked anxiously.

"Yes, he should recover just fine. We'll probably keep him overnight to monitor his vitals and make sure he has no serious side effects from the shot. I would highly suggest that you push him to get treatment for his addiction when he gets out of the hospital. This _will_ happen again if he doesn't and next time he might not be so lucky."

Benson nodded in agreement. "We definitely will, doctor."

"You should be able to see him soon. A nurse will let you know when you can come back." The doctor turned to exit the room.

"Thank you." Benson replied. Once the doctor was gone, he turned to the others to see the look of relief on their faces. "I'll go let Rigby know."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Benson entered Rigby's room once more, the raccoon was gazing emotionlessly at the wall although his eyes were red and puffy. He'd clearly been crying.

Rigby turned his head and regarded Benson with a deadpan expression, obviously fearing the worst. He reflexively sucked in his breath and held it as he waited for the gumball machine to speak.

"The doctor said that he's going to be okay." Benson uttered with a slight smile. The very nature of the situation was not really cause for a celebration, but he was elated that he was able to at least deliver good news.

Rigby closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief as every tensed muscle in his body began to relax. "When can I talk to him?"

"They said we'll be able to see him soon. I'll find a nurse to get you a wheelchair." Benson responded.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mordecai opened his eyes and blinked several times to bring his blurred surroundings into focus. Upon further inspection, he realized that he was back in the hospital. He had no idea how he had gotten there. He remembered that he'd decided to take another shot of heroin at the picnic table in the park after his conversation with Margaret because he wasn't high enough from first one. He thought he could handle it, but he recollected the extreme panic he felt when he realized that his body was beginning to shut down from the drug. He had become very sleepy and began to have a difficult time breathing as the toxin worked its way through his system.

When he thought back on those moments, Mordecai recalled being terrified with the realization that he was probably dying from an overdose and the knowledge that there wasn't a thing he could do about it as he began to fade in and out of consciousness. In spite of the hell that had become his life, he didn't want to die.

During his final few moments of awareness, he was deeply sorry for everything and wondered how things had come this far. Tears had run down his cheeks with thoughts of the events that had brought him to this moment. His life had been flipped upside down over the course of just a few weeks. He had probably killed his best friend, was doing things that he never ever thought he'd do and was now homeless from his actions. He had been sick with the realization that despite all that, the only thing he had really cared about in the end was taking another dose of the drug that now controlled his life. In that moment, Mordecai would have done anything to take it all back and start over, but it was too late...or so he thought. Now, lying in the hospital bed, he realized that his life had been spared a second time in the course of three days—and he felt that he certainly didn't deserve it.

Mordecai looked up when he heard the door to his room creak open. He was surprised to see Benson enter. The gumball machine simply glared at him with a look of serious discontent before speaking.

"Do you know why you're here, Mordecai?" Benson asked abruptly, skipping the pleasantries.

"Yeah." Mordecai uttered quietly. "I think I OD'd."

"You did and you're damn lucky to be alive!" The gumball retorted angrily. "Luckily, Muscle Man and Fives found you before it was too late. I thought you said you were going to quit!" He wasn't going to show any sympathy towards the blue jay after his latest actions.

"I was, but then Margaret called and...it doesn't matter...I was really stupid, Benson." Mordecai cast his eyes downward and hung his head in shame. "I'm sorry I put you guys through this."

"Don't apologize to me, Mordecai. Apologize to the one you almost left without a best friend because of your stupidity. "

"What are you talking about, dude?" Mordecai seemed confused. "I can't because Rigby's in a coma and he'll probably never wake up from it."

"I'm right here, Mordecai."

Mordecai turned his head toward the familiar voice. His eyes widened with surprise when he saw Rigby enter the doorway in a wheelchair. A nurse pushed him over to his bedside, then exited the room. He blinked several times in disbelief – wondering if his eyes were deceiving him from the drugs. Once it sank in that the raccoon was alright and sitting right in front of him, he felt as if an immense weight was suddenly lifted from his shoulders. "Rigby! Thank God you're okay!"

"I'm fine, man. Just a little banged up. It sounds like _you're_ the one who's not okay." Rigby pointed out. "What the fuck were you thinking, dude?"

"I'll leave you guys alone." Benson said and exited the room. He knew that if anyone was going to be able to get through to Mordecai, it was going to be Rigby.

"I'm so sorry, Rigby. I'm so sorry that I almost got you killed. I would have never forgiven myself if you didn't make it." Mordecai expressed with deep sincerity.

"I'm going to fine, dude." Rigby repeated. "I just want to know how you could be stupid enough to get hooked on heroin. I knew you were acting weird, but I never expected _that _from you. Why the hell you didn't say anything to me about it?"

"I didn't want anyone to find out what I'd become." Mordecai said with a blank expression as he stared out the door of his room, looking just past Rigby to avoid eye contact. "I just wasn't the same. "

"But I'm your bro, dude! You should have said something if you needed help!" Rigby threw his hands up in frustration.

"The truth is, Rigby, I didn't fucking _want_ help! I was happy being a prisoner of my own device. When I was high, I didn't _care_ about Margaret leaving. It didn't hurt anymore! I didn't fucking _want_ to quit!" Mordecai confessed, raising his voice.

"Okay, calm down. I'm not trying to upset you, bro. It just scared the shit out of me when Benson told me what you've been doing to yourself. Then when he said you were here because you OD'd...I-I thought I'd lost you. If I'd known what was going on, maybe I could have helped." Rigby said softly.

"Sorry I yelled, dude. I know you're just worried. " Mordecai immediately regretted his angry outburst. "It's just driving me crazy. The craving, I mean. It's all I can think about and it I get mad really quickly when I can't get it."

"I know. It's okay. I don't know if you realize it, but I've been dealing with that for a while now." Rigby pointed out. "I just didn't know what was causing it."

"Sorry, dude. I guess I put everyone through hell." Mordecai hung his head once again as he realized that Rigby was right and that he had been extremely aggressive and violent in the days leading up to the accident.

"So, are you going to quit now? Rigby asked bluntly, looking Mordecai straight in the eye.

"I was ready to quit after the accident, dude. But Margaret called me and I felt so guilty about hurting you...it was all too much...I couldn't control myself..."

"Stop avoiding the damn question, man! _Do you want to quit now, or not_?" Rigby asked again, emphasizing each word slowly to get his point across. He wasn't going to let his friend off the hook so easily. He wanted him to admit that he had a problem.

Mordecai hesitated, staring up at the ceiling. He began to rub his temples with his fingertips as if his head hurt. Rigby could tell that he was wrestling with himself in his mind. The raccoon waited patiently for a response. When Mordecai looked at him again, his eyes were brimming with tears.

"Yes Rigby. Of course I want to fucking quit!" Mordecai's voice quivered emotionally as the tears began to stream down his cheeks. "But...But..._I can't_!" The blue jay paused and tried to compose himself, to no avail. "I-I...I need help, Rigby. " He finally admitted.

Rigby stared at his friend with a look of genuine sympathy. He couldn't possibly know what the blue jay was feeling inside, but he knew that he was _broken_. In their twenty year friendship, he had never seen Mordecai so weak and vulnerable. It broke Rigby's heart seeing his once upbeat and carefree friend in this state of mind. The bird began to sob with the realization that he could no longer trust himself to control his own actions despite his desire for his life to be normal again.

Normally, Rigby wasn't good with emotional situations and avoided them at all costs, but this was _Mordecai_. He _had_ to find the words somewhere to help ease his friend's torment. "It's okay, bro. I know this has got really suck for you." The raccoon said, placing his hand on his friend's shoulder. "Don't worry though; we're going to fix it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Six Weeks Later_

Rigby walked up the drive to Pinedale Rehabilitation Center. He didn't get to visit as often as he would have liked because the establishment was two towns over and he usually had to take the bus to get there. The building looked similar to a hotel with a lobby, courtyard and a peaceful garden out back. Visitors would enter through the lobby and check in at the front desk. They were required to be searched for any drugs or alcohol that they may have tried to conceal at the pleadings of the patients. Rigby didn't understand why anyone would want to do that and further hinder their loved one from getting better, but apparently they'd had problems with it in the past. The search process was quick for Rigby because he was only wearing a light jacket and carried no bags.

"You know where you're going, right?" The man at the front desk asked. After seeing him several times, he recognized Rigby's face and realized that the raccoon knew his way around by now.

"Yeah, room twenty-seven. Take the elevator to the second floor and turn right." Rigby repeated the directions to Mordecai's room.

"You got it." The front desk attendant smiled.

Rigby made his way to the room and knocked on the door. His face lit up when his friend answered.

"Hey dude!" Mordecai smiled.

Rigby was happy to see that he looked better than he did during his last visit, which was a couple of weeks ago. He seemed to have more energy and his eyes were much brighter and more alert. "Hey bro. What's going on?"

"Same old, same old, dude—group therapy in the morning and individual therapy in the afternoon. At least they've toned town the constant supervision now cause they're not worried I'm going to try to off myself anymore." Mordecai chucked, trying to make light of a very serious situation.

"Not funny, dude. I was so pissed when they told me that you threatened to kill yourself three days after you got here." Rigby admonished.

"Sorry man. I know it was a really stupid thing to say. They don't take that kind of thing lightly around here. The detox was absolute hell though and some days I thought I really wanted to die. It was brutal, but I feel a lot better now." Mordecai said.

"You look a lot better than you did last time I was here—like you're getting back to your old self." Rigby noted.

"Yeah. I still think about it and want it every day, several times a day, but I'm starting to be able to ignore the cravings and refocus my attention on other things. The meds help too, but I hope to be off them by the time I get out." Mordecai said.

"That's great, dude. How much longer to you have?"

"I still have at least another six weeks in here. I don't know what I'm going to do then though. I don't have anywhere to go." Mordecai began to wring his hands together as the familiar anxious feeling began to set in again. Thinking about his reentry into the real world made him extremely nervous and kept him up at night. With no job and nowhere to live, he feared that he would quickly unravel and start using again if left on his own without support.

"I work on Benson every day about giving you your job back."

"Thanks, bro. What does he say?" Mordecai asked.

"It depends on what kind of mood he's in. Sometimes he says it's not his decision and he doesn't want to talk about it and other times he just says '_we'll see._' I think he has to convince Mr. Maellard to let him rehire you first, but he also wants you to prove yourself before he even asks Mr. Maellard about it."

"Oh. I get it, I guess. It just sucks."

"Yeah. Skips said you could stay with him when you get out, but I think Benson's a little worried about Mr. Maellard finding out about it. If _that_ happens, he'll get pissed and never agree to rehire you. So I talked to Don the other day and he said you can live with him until you get back on your feet. I know it's not what you want, but at least it's a place to stay." Rigby pointed out.

"Really? Thanks Rigby!" Mordecai liked Rigby's younger brother and he appreciated the offer. He felt a little better with the knowledge that he at least had somewhere to go even if it wasn't where he wanted to go. "Maybe with a few months of staying clean on the outside Benson will see that I'm serious about this and convince Maellard to rehire me."

"Yeah. I hope so, dude." Rigby agreed. "The park just isn't the same without you. It's so boring! Benson has hired these two college guys named Chad and Jeremy part time. They're such dorks. They kiss Benson's ass all the time and then stand around staring at their phones whenever they're not working. They send each other emails when they're standing right next to each other! I don't think they even _know_ how to have fun, man!"

"Yeah, they sound like losers." Mordecai agreed. "I guess I've officially been replaced though." He added sadly.

"Don't worry, dude. I don't think they're gonna last long. I overhead Jeremy telling Chad that this job was _below _them one day."

"What an ungrateful dick." Mordecai said.

"I know." Rigby agreed. "So, you want to play _Double Dragon_ or something?" The raccoon changed the subject. He motioned toward the videogame system that he had brought from the house on his last visit to give Mordecai something to do.

"You know it, dude! I've got a couple hours before my next therapy session. It's no fun playing by yourself all the time, but I'm glad you brought it for me. It takes my mind off things." Mordecai popped the cartridge in and started the system up, handing one of the controllers over to Rigby.

Time seemed to fly as the two friends settled back into to their familiar routine just as if it were old times again. Two hours later, someone briefly knocked on the door before opening it and poking her head in. It was Mordecai's personal therapist checking up on him. She was a pretty lady with red hair in her late thirties. "You're late for your session, Mordecai. I was just checking to see if everything is okay." She said.

"Sorry. I guess lost track of time. Just give me a few minutes to say goodbye." Mordecai said.

"It's okay." The therapist smiled. "Good to see you, Rigby." She added before closing the door again.

"I guess I've gotta go." Mordecai muttered disappointedly. "I'm glad you could make it today, dude."

"No problem. I wish I could get here more often, but you know how it is." Rigby shrugged.

"I know, dude. It's okay."

"Just get better, Mordecai." The raccoon said as he picked up his jacket and prepared to leave.

"I will, I promise. All this is really hard right now, but it'll be totally worth it in the end when I'm free from thinking about that shit all the time and things are back to normal."

"Yeah, it will. I'll see you again real soon, dude." Rigby said.

"Okay." Mordecai stood there awkwardly for a moment before pulling his friend into a tight hug. Rigby returned the embrace before breaking away with feigned disgust.

"Aww, sick dude!" The two friends cried in unison as they pushed away from each other. It was a ritual of theirs repeated time and time again. They both wanted to show friendly affection towards each other, but neither of them wanted to admit it how much he cared about the other because it wasn't deemed masculine.

"See you later, dude."

"Later, bro." Rigby said and left the room.

As he walked away from the rehabilitation center, Rigby was deeply saddened about leaving Mordecai behind once again, but he knew that this was for the best. He could only hope that someday Mordecai would fully recover and their lives would go back to normal again. Until then, he would patiently wait and offer his support as only a best friend can.

_The End_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

**A/N****: I like this ending, but I think the original one is more powerful. **

**Fun fact**

**I referenced three songs related to drug use in this story and I was just wondering if anyone picked up on them. They are all old songs, so probably not. **

**The first one was way back in Chapter 14 - "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose" said by the homeless man is from a really old (1970's) Janis Joplin song (who died from a heroin overdose herself) called ****_Me and Bobby McGee_****. **

**The last two were in the alternate ending: "..Prisoner of my own device" said by Mordecai is from the Eagles's ****_Hotel California (also 1970's era). _**

**While there are not really any exact quotes, The Fray's ****_How to Save a Life_**** was kind of an inspiration for the conversation between Mordecai and Rigby in the hospital. If you look up the lyrics, you will see the similarities. That one isn't too old (mid-2000's). **

**I don't own any of the above mentioned songs because I wasn't even born when the first two were released! I just like to listen to all kinds and eras of music. **

**Thanks for reading and I hope to see you guys soon with a new story!**


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